Nae Chingu (My Friends) Chapter Eighteen

Nae Chingu (My Friends)

Chapter Eighteen

The days following the night Mae Ri, Ji Soo and Jong Hwa visited me seemed to blur by. I continued the same routine; I'd get up, clean, go to school, come back to the dorms, do homework and sleep only to get up and clean again. After another week passed by, I came to the startling conclusion that I'd managed to put myself on autopilot. I hardly registered the actions my hands were taking or the words that were coming out of my mouth whenever I spoke to someone. I did what I needed to do and moved on to the next step, whatever that was at that moment.

I had started to buy cheap packs of tissues to keep with me at all times because of the frequent nosebleeds I was getting. I used to laugh at the Korean dramas that often showed a student having nosebleeds while studying and hadn't realized that it was a real thing. I kept my waste basket under my desk and tucked behind my chair. Not because I didn't want people, most especially my roommate, to see that all my efforts were beginning to take a toll on my body but because it was gross and no one needed to see it. At least that was what I had convinced myself was the reason, deep down I think I knew I was overworking myself.

My eating habits had changed as well. I was rarely ever free enough to grab dinner and on the days when I worked in the morning, I never stopped to get breakfast so lunch was now my main--if not my only--meal of the day. It was kind of a good thing, I discovered, when I'd realized I'd lost some weight. Enough that I now had to use a zip tie I'd found at work to cinch two belt loops together so my pants didn't hang halfway down my hips. Just you wait, Mae Ri, I'll be your size yet, I thought when I realized how much weight I'd truly worked off.

In the interim since my conversation with Brian on the bus I had done some serious reflection on what I wanted and I had decided what I wanted was to no longer be afraid of failing. I had begun stock piling my weekly earnings into little baggies that I carried around with me and didn't spend any of it unless it was absolutely necessary. Of course, I spared the few bucks it took to replenish my shampoo and conditioner but I'd convinced myself I didn't need the measly things like bed sheets or socks. I continued to sleep with my jacket, despite the warmer weather that said Spring was on it's way and I washed my only pair of socks every night before bed.

If anyone had seen a change in my demeanor, no one said anything and that was exactly how I preferred it. I kept up the minimal contact to keep up appearances but never did more than was required. This seemed to appease Mae Ri but only proved to upset Jong Hwa whenever I sent him reply messages that were only a few words long. It seemed he'd reached his limit two weeks after the last time I'd seen him.

I'm coming to see you tomorrow. We need to talk.

I read the text and felt a small amount of panic flit through me. I didn't want to see him, I'd finally gotten used to not having him around and I knew that if I saw him tomorrow, it'd rip down all the defenses I'd spent the last two weeks building.

Can't. I have a study group until late. Another time? 

It was a lie because tomorrow was Thursday and we'd had our study group today but he didn't know that.

Lily, I know you're avoiding me. I need to see you.

I glanced at the clock and noted that it was nearly ten at night and I had only manged to complete about two-thirds of the homework that was due tomorrow.

I'm not avoiding you. I'm just busy. I'm tired so I'm going to bed. We'll talk later.

I thought he'd push the issue but instead his reply was only one word:

Fine.

I put my phone down and ignored the pain that always seemed to prick at my heart whenever I thought of Jong Hwa.

I worked on my homework until I just couldn't any more, my eyes had started to burn and it was late enough that I knew getting up at two-thirty in the morning was going to be difficult so I took out the small piece of tissue I'd shoved up my left nostril to block my latest nosebleed and went to bed.

Per usual, I zipped up my jacket and ascended the first step of my bunk bed ladder when a wave of dizziness had me reaching backwards to catch myself on the closet door. I managed to stop myself from falling to the floor but my closet door, which hadn't been all the way shut, slammed closed and left a resounding crash that instantly woke up Emily.

    "Wha-" she looked around until she saw me awkwardly standing on one leg with my other leg still on the first rung and shaking my head to try and stop the dizziness. "What are you doing," she shrieked which only made me wince in pain at the volume.

    "Sorry, I slipped," I muttered and tried the first step again.

    "Oh my god," she huffed angrily and laid back down.

You little brat, I thought to myself. Couldn't even ask if I was okay? This time I was able to get to my bed without another dizzy spell and felt all my tension drain away as soon as I put my head on my makeshift pillow.

All too soon my alarm was going off again and I dismissed it quickly in fear of waking Emily up again. Lord only knew what'd she do to me the next time I jolted her out of sleep and I didn't have enough energy to waste on dealing with her.

I was careful as I descending the steps and realized I'd forgotten to pack my bag the previous night. So I gathered my books, my uniform and checked to make sure my money was in my bag before I left.

The walk to work wasn't nearly as bad now that the weather had started to get better, in fact, the spring air was refreshing and made me a little lightheaded. When I got to the club, my mood had taken a drastic upturn and I felt a little floaty. I checked in with the night time security guy and as per usual, started on the upstairs. It seemed like business had been slow the previous night because only four of the eight karaoke rooms had been used. It was always nice when I had less work, maybe, if I finished with work in time, I could even run by the cafeteria at the dorms and pick up something for breakfast.

I had just finished the last karaoke room when I picked up the small bucket of water and the mop I'd used to wash the floors and went to take them downstairs. I only got down three steps when another wave of dizziness overtook me but this time, with my hands full, I didn't have anything to stop me from falling. Everything had gone black by the time I reached the bottom of the stairs.

***

One Week Ago...

I had set up an appointment with the Director since he'd wanted me to come see him. I just got off of school and the only thing really on my mind was to get home and get some homework tonight and sleep but I gathered up the courage to come see him despite all that. I felt like I was tired all the time and since today was a Monday, I didn't have to work in the morning so it was my day to catch up on sleep.

The receptionist waved me towards the seating area and said it would be a few minutes before the Director came to get me. So I sat and waited. True to her word, the Director hadn't made me sit long before he came out of the side door and greeted me with a wide smile. He hadn't changed much in the month since I'd last seen him.

    "Ah, thank you Lily for coming to see me," I stood up and bowed to him respectfully.

    "Hello, Director," I said but left it at that because I didn't really now what else to say.

    "Are you hungry? I'm hungry, let's get something to eat," he didn't even wait for a reply before he started walking towards the front door and out onto the street. "Spring," he said while he took a deep breath in through his nose. "It's close, I can smell it."

    "Yes, Director," I followed a little behind him, unsure of what this was all leading too. If he was going to scold me for having a job, this seemed an odd way of doing it.

    "Do you like fish cakes," He asked me when he stopped at the corner of street and looked left and right.

    "Yes," I told him.

    "Me too, I know a place that sells really good fish cakes," he took an immediate left and steered us towards a street vendor that sold food.

    "I'm sorry, Sir, but what is this about," I asked as I followed behind him.

    "We'll get to it, don't worry," he said which only caused me to worry more. It had to be serious if he wasn't willing to even give me a hint.

He ordered the food and even I had to admit that it smelled delicious and when it arrived, I dug into the fish ball soup with fervor.

    "I was going to say it looked like you'd lost weight since I last saw you but it seems that you have a healthy appetite," the Director said jovially and he continued to eat his soup at a leisurely pace. "Do you like tteokbokki?"

    "You don't have--"

    "Ajumma*," the Director called to the woman behind the small kitchenette. "Tteokbokki juseyo*," he ordered a round of spicy rice cakes before I could decline his offer.

    "Ah, Ye," she called back and brought us the food and gave us each a toothpick to eat it with.

The Director speared a rice noodle and swirled it around the sauce before putting it in his mouth. I did the same because it would be rude to decline the food after he'd ordered it.

    "So I hear you are all by yourself now," the Director said without preamble and had me nearly choking on my own noodle.

    "Yes, sir," I confirmed as I wiped a little sauce from my lip.

    "Is that why you got a job," he asked before he spooned more soup into his mouth.

    "To make money, yes," I answered and put down my toothpick.

    "Ani, meogeo*," he gestured for me to take another bite of noodle.

I picked up another piece of noodle and put it in my mouth and waited to see what he said next.

    "How is the job going," he asked me after another moment.

    "Good, sir," I said simply. There was no way I was going to tell him how tired working actually made me.

    "What do you do," I could tell he was getting to his point because he'd stopped eating his soup and seemed to keep looking off into the distance, anywhere but at me and it made me feel like at any moment the other shoe was going to drop.

    "I clean, sir," I said and put down my toothpick again.

    "Where," he asked.

    "Do I have to tell you," I was getting tired of this interrogation and I wish he'd just tell me what he wanted to tell me already. However I knew better than to be rude, so I made sure my tone stayed even.

    "Did you know I'm well within my rights to remove you from the program," he said nonchalantly like he hadn't just potentially upended my world.

    "What," I asked loudly and the Ajumma turned to look at us.

    "Don't worry, I'm not threatening you," he said quietly and looked back at me. "But I will if I find out this job is causing issues with school." He let his words sink in and I felt he'd just slapped me on the hands with a ruler. "In this world, education is the only constant. Things are always changing and evolving and people are constantly learning just to keep up with it."

    "You're special, Lily," he said and once again looked away as he spoke. "I've seen older people than you cave to lesser struggles. Chan Min saw it in you the first time you came to his office and I saw it in you the day I interviewed you. You're special and you've got something about you that makes people want to protect you," he said.

    "I don't need--"

    "You're tough, I'll give you that but even the strongest can fall," he said easily as his gaze came back to mine. "History is proof of that," he finished. "I want to see you excel and I'm willing to jump through all kinds of hoops to make sure my students have all that they need to succeed in this program but it all starts with you."

For the second time in week, I felt like I had just been scolded. First by Brian, and now the Director. What, were the words 'troubled kid' tattooed on my forehead or something? With nothing else I could say I simply nodded and waited in silence until he finished the rest of his soup.

    "Hmm, masissda*," he put a few won on the table and stood up and I followed suit. He waved to the Ajumma who smiled and waved back as she continued to work on another group's order and we headed back in the direction of the ESE building.

    "Thank you for the food," I told him once we reached the building. I hadn't planned on going back inside but he waved me towards the door anyway.

    "Chan Min wanted to see you before you headed back to the dorms," he said.

    "Why," I asked carefully.

    "You'll need to ask him," he said with a smile and waved to me as he continued to talk past the building and down the opposite way we'd come.

I reluctantly reentered the building and told the receptionist to let Chan Min know I was here to see him now. Rather than waiting, she ushered me straight back to him and I walked to his desk without an escort.

He was clicking away at his computer when I knocked lightly on the plastic lining of his cubicle to get his attention. "Ah, Lily, you're here." He hit save on whatever document he was working on and spun around on his chair to give me a smile.

    "You wanted to see me," I said and sat down in the visitor's chair.

    "Yeah, I was going through your file to make sure I had everything for your graduation in a few months and noticed that the form you previously filled out for your emergency contact information listed your father as your emergency contact. Did you," he looked a little sheepish and he carefully chose his next few words. "Did you want to update that information?"

He handed me the paper I'd filled out a month ago. Had it really already been almost a month since I'd been on my own in Korea? I'd say time really flew by when you were having fun except the last four weeks had been anything but fun.

    "I suppose I should," I said and reached for a pen on his desk. I hesitated when it came to crossing out my father's name out but knew I had no other choice. I hadn't heard a peep from him since he'd left and I hadn't even gotten a hold of my mother. I wonder what he'd told her when she realized I hadn't come home with him. Had she even tried to get a hold of me? I wouldn't know since my phone was turned off but I suspected she'd at least tried once. I stared at the blank line and wondered who I'd put, I had no one else in the country that could put on that line.

    "If you don't have anyone else to put, you could just put me," Chan Min said after a minute of struggling to think of someone. "I mean, it doesn't have to be your parent. It could be anyone you would trust to make decisions for you if you ever unable to make them for yourself."

Who did I trust enough to make decisions for me? The first person to pop up in my head had been Jong Hwa. He was still a high school student though so he wasn't eligible to be my working guardian. His mother maybe? No, I couldn't put that kind of pressure on her.

    "Do you maybe have a doctor you trust on the base that you would feel comfortable being your emergency contact," Chan Min suggested and it clicked. No, I didn't have a doctor on base, but I did have a doctor.

I put Ji Soo's father's name on the line. The only problem was I didn't have his cell number. "I'm going to put down a number but it's not his. It's his son's, you'll just have to ask to speak to Lee Kang Bo. But I honestly don't think you'll ever have to use this," I laughed lightly. Or at least, I hoped not.

Chan Min nodded and took the sheet when handed it back to him and put it in my file. "Glad that's taken care of," he said and turned around and just looked at me. "How are you, Lily," he asked.

    "I'm-I'm good," I said and managed to keep most of the tension out of my voice.

    "Dahaengida*," he said and leaned back in his chair. "I don't want to keep you, I know you must have homework but you'll call if you need anything, right?" He made the universal sign for a phone and held it up to his ear.

    "Yes," I affirmed and stood up.

It wouldn't be until later that the importance that meeting with Chan Min would be until I found myself in the hospital.

***

Present Day...
Ji Soo...

My phone rang shrilly by my bedside and woke me out of a deep sleep instantly. I picked it up and noted the time as well as the fact that it was a number I'd never seen before. I debated on whether or not to answer it. I decided that it must be important for someone to call at four in the morning and put the phone to my ear.

    "Yeobeoseyo," I said sleepily into the phone.

    "Is this Lee Kang Bo," a man's voice said on the other end.

I pulled the phone away from my face to make sure it truly was mine and hadn't gotten mixed up with my father's. "Aniyo, jjamkkanmanyo," I got up from bed and slowly made my way to my father's room and opened the door. My father's snores almost instantly stopped the second I called his name. He may not work in the hospital any more but he still maintained the hospital mindset and could wake up instantly and be alert no matter what. I dropped onto the side of the bed he didn't use and passed the phone over even as I swung an arm over my eyes.

    "What is it," he said as he rubbed his eyes.

    "I don't know, someone called for you," I said. "Here," I said, shaking the phone so he'd grab it.

    "Yeobeoseyo," I heard my father say into the phone.

There was silence and then my father shot up in bed and nearly dislodged me from my side when he pulled the covers. "Mworigo*," he said loudly into the phone. I sat up next to him and could tell by the look on his face and the sound of his voice that whatever it was, it was serious. But why would they be calling on my phone, whoever it was.

    "I'm on my way," he said briskly and hung up. He wasted no time in getting out of bed and threw clothes on haphazardly.

    "Abeoji, mwoya," I asked him as he finished putting on clothes. "Who was it," I asked.

    "Ji Soo, follow me," he said and left the bedroom. I got up from the bed and followed my father to his office where he pulled out his medical bag and started filling it with items from his desk.

    "What's going on," I asked again, now I was started to get worried. I glanced at the number again on my phone and struggled to see if anything about it rang any bells.

    "Ji Soo, listen to me," my father said in a commanding tone. "Ji Soo," he said again to get my attention and I looked at him. "It was about Lily. There was an accident, they don't know much but she's at the hospital."

It took a moment for his words to sink in and then I turned around to go back to my room to get dressed but my father stopped me, "No, there's no point in you going to the hospital until we know more."

    "But Abeoji," I said faintly.

    "I will call you if anything happens," my father said as if that was the end of the discussion but it wasn't. I had never raised my voice to my father but I raised it now.

    "Abeoji," I said loudly and brought my father to a halting stop. "She's my friend, I'm going."

My father looked at me and must have seen something on my face because he nodded and went back to packing. "Fine, go get dressed. Call Jong Hwa as well," he said. "Don't," he added loudly. "Don't tell him what it's about. Just tell him to get dressed. We'll swing by and pick him up on our way."

    "What about Mae Ri," I asked. My father thought about it and ultimately shook his head.

    "No, she'll panic," he said and I had to admit that he was right. She would panic and no good would come out of telling her anything before we had more answers. "Okay, go," my father said and shooed me out the door.

I was calling Jong Hwa before I even changed out of my pajamas, "Ji Soo-ya, why are you calling so early?"

    "Something's come up, Jong Hwa. Get dressed, I'm on my way to come get you," I told him.

    "What," he asked in a less sleepy voice.

    "I don't have time to explain but you need to get up and get dressed. We'll be there in ten minutes, okay?"

    "Okay but--"

    "See you soon," I cut off his next question and hung up. He'd get dressed and we'd tell him once he got in the car.

For the first time in a long time, I prayed. I prayed that Lily was alright. It had to have been something major for her to be taken to the hospital but what she could have been doing that would cause her to go to the hospital at four in the morning was beyond me.

To Be Continued...

***

*Juseyo; "Please"

*Meogeo: "Eat"

*Ahjumma: Ahjumma refers to a sometimes older woman, but it could also be used for a woman who is married, doesn't necessarily have to be older. It's just a respectful term for older/married woman.  (On the flip side, you have Ajusshi--older/married man). Word of caution, this word is NEVER used for someone who is younger or unmarried, it's an insult otherwise. You're basically calling them "Old man" or "Old woman" before their time.

*Massida: "Delicious"

*Dahaengida: "I'm relieved", "I'm glad" or "That's good"-as in "That's good that you are doing well".

*Mworigo: "What did you say?"