Nae Chingu (My Friends)
Chapter Nineteen
Jong Hwa...
When Ji Soo hung up, I just stared at the phone in confusion. 'Something's come up'? What could possible have come up that made Ji Soo feel the need to call him at, I glanced at the clock on my phone, a little after four a.m.? A slither of worry inched it's way into my head as I got up to get dressed. I dressed in a pair of jeans and a simple shirt rather than my school uniform since I didn't know what to expect but to be on the safe side, I packed it in my backpack just in case.
When I left my bedroom I shut it as softly as I could so I didn't wake my mother up, who had ears of a hawk--she'd raised three boys, she had a lot of experience in picking up the smallest of sounds. I did, however, leave her a note explaining that I needed to leave earlier than expected and that I'd call her later to explain.
By the time I walked out my front door, Ji Soo's dad was just pulling in front of the house. Ji Soo didn't look at me as I climbed into the backseat. His father was busy speaking into the phone to even glance at me.
"No," his father said. "She doesn't have a history of that, at least nothing's been noted," he listened to the response. "We are en route to the hospital," some more listening.
Hospital? I wanted to ask what was going on but I waited until his father hung up the phone to ask any questions. My palms started to sweat as we drove farther and farther into Seoul.
"Please do and call me back," Abeonim said and hung up. I guess I expected someone to say something once the phone call ended but after a couple of minutes of silence, it was clear neither of them was going to offer any information.
"What's going on," I asked cautiously. The silence dragged on and each second that ticked by, I got more and more worried. "Ji Soo--"
"At 3:45 this morning, Lily was taken to Wusoo Hospital from an apparent head injury," Abeonim stated matter of factly.
My chest seized up and it hurt to breath. I wanted to ask what had happened but I couldn't get my lungs to release any air. I looked between Abeonim and Ji Soo but Abeonim never took his eyes off the road and Ji Soo kept his silent stare out the window.
"She's being taken for an CT now and then she'll get an MRI," Abeonim continued after a few silent moments. "It seems she fell down some stairs but we won't know much more until her labs come back."
"She fell down--did she slip?" My head swam with all sorts of possibilities of what could have happened but my head kept coming back to the time. What was she doing at 3:45 in the morning that she fell down some stairs? Had she been going to the bathroom?
"I don't know," Abeonim said honestly. "We'll know more once we get to the hospital."
Realizing that I wasn't going to get any more information, I stayed silent while we drove to the hospital. Scenarios kept bouncing around my head and with each passing moment, they got worse and worse. It seemed like forever by the time we pulled into a parking spot outside of Wusoo Hospital and I had to refrain from jumping out and racing to the front doors. Instead, I walked side by side with Ji Soo behind Abeonim as we entered the hospital.
Abeonim spoke with the receptionist in clipped, professional tones and it was all I could do not to scream at the lady to hurry up and find out where Lily was. I crossed my arms and uncrossed them multiple times before opting to put my hands in my pockets in an attempt to keep my worry and panic contained.
The woman directed us to the fourth floor and we quickly left. There was another receptionist desk on the fourth floor and by then, my patience was all but spent.
"I'm Dr. Lee Kang Bo, I'm here to see Lily Smith," Abeonim said in the same clipped and professional tone from downstairs and it was beginning to grate on my nerves, was I the only one that was worried here? Maybe I was blowing this out of proportion, I told myself. I'd once fallen down the stairs after my younger brother pushed me and I'd gotten back up and was fine. Maybe it was the same for Lily, maybe she'd just fallen and she'd panicked and came to the hospital. Rationally, I knew that wasn't the case because Lily would never make a fuss like this over nothing but maybe she'd had no choice. Maybe the hospital hadn't been her idea, I thought. I tried to calm down as we walked towards Lily's hospital room but I just couldn't shake the thought that something else had gone wrong.
Ji Soo had yet to say anything to me since I'd walked out of the car, in fact, he hadn't said anything since I got in the car either but I tried not to let his silence bother me.
We walked into Lily's room and found it completely empty. There was no bed, no machines and especially no Lily.
"Where's--"
"She's getting her scans done now, she should be back relatively soon," Abeonim anticipated my question. Because there were only two chairs in the room, I let Ji Soo and Abeonim take them since I didn't think I'd be able to sit still while we waited for Lily to come back.
'Relatively soon' turned out to be almost an hour and it was just enough time to frazzle my already frayed nerves but as soon as the door opened, we all looked at it anxiously.
They wheeled Lily in on a mobile bed and once the bed was maneuvered into the room, in came the rest of the machines that she was hooked up too. There was a bag full of clear liquid and a machine that rhythmically beeped in time with her heart. However, all of these things barely registered when I saw Lily's face; my stomach bottomed out and fell to my feet.
Lily was pale, about as pale as someone with naturally tan skin can get, which only made the dark circles under her eyes stand out that much more. Then there were the bruises; along the right side of Lily's face were a series of bruises that all merged into a larger and darker purple bruise along her right jawline. Her head was wrapped in white gauze and I think that's when I forgot how to breath.
Abeonim stayed utterly silent as he took in Lily's appearance but I heard Ji Soo take in a sharp breath, it seemed even he hadn't been prepared for the way Lily would look. This, I thought silently, this was more than just falling down the stairs. I didn't wait to be given permission, I just walked to Lily's side and as soon as they positioned the bed and put the breaks on it, I was sitting by her side with her hand in mine.
"Lily," I whispered, thinking maybe she had just fallen asleep on her way back to the room.
"She hasn't woken up yet," the nurse told me before turning to Abeonim. "Are you her guardian," she asked him.
"Yes, I am," he nodded.
"The doctor is on his way up to brief you," she said before leaving the room and shutting the door behind her.
It was like it had been choreographed, as soon as the door was closed we all collectively looked back at Lily.
"What does it mean that she hasn't woken up yet," I asked Abeonim quietly.
"I don't know," he said.
"But you are a doctor," my voice sounded harsh even to myself.
"Ya," Ji Soo finally spoke to me, even if it was to scold me for my impoliteness.
"It's alright, Ji Soo," Abeonim patted him on the shoulder. "He's worried just like we all are," he turned to me next. "I may be a doctor but without test results, I can't give you any answers. The doctor will be here soon, let's wait to hear from him before we panic," he said.
Too late, I thought. I had gone beyond panic now and was firmly in the 'scared' column. I turned back to Lily and if I hadn't known it was her, I'd say she didn't look anything like the Lily I knew. Or, I thought, like the Lily from two weeks ago when I'd last seen her. Had she been avoiding me because of this? She looked ill. She'd known I would notice and she'd purposefully been avoiding not only me but Mae Ri as well. Even Mae Ri had caught on to the sudden distance Lily had put between us. At the time, I'd assumed it was because of what had happened between us that night but now--now I wasn't so sure.
The doctor arrived a little while later and the grim look on his face said he didn't bring good news.
"Are you the guardian," he asked Abeonim.
"I'm Dr. Lee Kang Bo, yes," Abeonim said.
The doctor looked pointedly at Ji Soo and I before addressing Abeonim again, "Would you like to discuss this in private?"
"No," Abeonim said and I released the air in my lungs I hadn't known I'd been holding. "What did the tests say," he asked.
"Well, her MRI is clear and the CT doesn't show any structural damage although she does have a hairline fracture on her jaw that will heal on it's own as long as she doesn't do any more damage to her face," the doctor said as he pulled a tablet out of his pocket. I assumed he was bringing up her chart or something because Abeonim bent down to look at the screen closely.
"Must have been from a stair," Abeonim muttered thoughtfully.
"That is my thinking as well," the doctor concurred. "However, none of this is the problem," he adjusted his hold on the tablet and brought up a new chart with the s-pen. "I believe this to be the problem."
I felt like screaming because he wasn't saying out loud what the problem was and only Abeonim could see the tablet so Ji Soo and I were left sitting in the dark trying to discern a problem from Abeonim's face.
Abeonim's eyes narrowed as he took a closer look at the screen, "This can't be right," he said.
What couldn't be right?
"I thought so too so I had her blood retested and the results were the same," he said. "As of right now, we've started her on fluids and once we feel like she's been hydrated enough we will start her on the basic nutrients starting with her potassium. This is all assuming, of course, that she hasn't woken up before then." The doctor finished and I had to dig my nails into my palm just to keep my mouth shut and not ask one of the million questions that were floating around in my head right now.
"Thank you, Doctor," Abeonim said and bowed slightly. "However, if her numbers have gotten this low, shouldn't there have been signs before this?"
"Yes, there should have been any number of them although it's different for everyone. I would suggest having her living quarters investigated to see if she hasn't been," he paused looking for the right words. "Hiding anything," he finished.
"I will definitely look into that," Abeonim nodded. "How is she overall," he asked.
"I suspect she'll make a full recovery once we've gotten her some of the vitamins and minerals she'd been starving herself of," the doctor nodded.
I jerked my head around so I was looking at Lily. Starving herself? Now that he mentioned it, Lily had lost considerable weight in her face. I couldn't tell about the rest of her body because she was covered up by thick blankets but without the shadow of a doubt, I knew that she must have lost weight everywhere else too.
By the time I turned back into the conversation, the doctor was just saying his goodbyes and taking his leave. This time, however, I didn't have to ask any of the questions myself, Ji Soo jumped in for me.
"What did you see, Abeoji," Ji Soo asked as soon as the we were alone again.
"All of Lily's essential nutrient levels are low," Abeonim said and he rubbed his face again. "Things like her potassium, iron, vitamin C, D, A, all of them are low. Low enough that," he sighed and shook his head. "Low enough to indicate that Lily was severely malnourished. The kind that looks like Anorexia Nervosa."
"You think Lily was starving herself," Ji Soo asked and a sudden memory was triggered in my brain.
...she eats her food so fast that she looks like she's starving every day...I had forgotten all about Derek's words that night two weeks ago, especially after what had transpired between Lily and I after I'd spoken to him but they all came back with startling clarity now. Derek had warned me that Lily wasn't eating normally. She'd been eating at lunch but he hadn't seen her eat anywhere else, at the time he'd said it had been happening since she started at the new school. That was, I did a quick calculation in my head, almost a month ago.
"I'm telling you Dad, Lily would never do such a thing," Ji Soo was saying to Abeonim when I finally started to speak up.
"This is my fault," I cut in. And, without the shadow of a doubt, I knew those words to be true. This was my fault, if I hadn't been jealous of Derek, of the fact that he'd been watching her, or worried about what had happened afterwards, I would have paid more attention to Lily. I wouldn't have waited two weeks for Lily to come to me, I would have gone to her.
"What do you mean," Ji Soo asked.
"This isn't your fault, Jong Hwa, we all--" Abeonim tried to reassure me but I cut him off.
"No, it is my fault. Derek tried to warn me but I didn't," I turned back to face them, "I didn't even think this was a possibility, I didn't even--"
"Wait, Derek, as in that guy from her dorm?" Ji Soo asked for clarification.
"Yeah," I nodded.
"So Derek told you that Lily wasn't eating and you did what," Ji Soo's face become contorted in anger and for the first time in our ten years of friendship, Ji Soo was actually livid with me. I could see it in his eyes. "You decided to not tell anyone about it?"
"He didn't say she wasn't eating, he just said that he'd only saw her eat at lunch," I said lamely. Ji Soo had every right to be angry with me, I'd completely messed up and Lily was paying the price.
"How could you not say something," Ji Soo's voice, which rarely ever raised in anger, raised now.
"I didn't think--"
"You're damn right you didn--"
"Stop," Abeonim's voice bellowed inside the small room and we both instantly stopped talking. Much like his son, Lee Kang Bo didn't get angry very often and when he did, well, you did what he asked you to do. "Do you two think bickering like children will help Lily? Do you think that she is so incompetent that she is helpless without you guys standing next to her?" He cleared his throat and then continued, "Lily is a big girl and can make her own decisions--even bad ones. Yes, Jong Hwa you should have said something when you heard that she wasn't eating but do not think so little of Lily that she can't be held accountable for her actions." He sighed audibly before muttering, "And I thought Mae Ri would be difficult."
Ji Soo and I exchanged a look and I could see the anger slide out of his shoulders, "Abeoji's right."
I couldn't deny that Abeonim had a point but I still couldn't shake the feeling that if I had been paying better attention, we wouldn't be sitting here right now. A knock sounded at the door and a nurse walked in carrying what looked to be Lily's backpack. "This was left in the Emergency Room," she said and Ji Soo walked over to grab it.
I hadn't moved from my spot next to Lily and I had no intention of moving until she woke up. She'd cried out for me when she fainted before and I wanted to make sure I was there in case she cried out for me again. Although I hated it, I was hoping she would so that I wouldn't feel so useless.
"Lily," I whispered to her, thinking maybe I could coax her into waking up. "Chagiya*, ireona*," the words left my mouth and surprised even me. I glanced quickly at Ji Soo. I had whispered the words but apparently not quietly enough because he gave me a calculating stare. He may not be as angry as he was a few minutes ago but it was clear he was still upset. We would handle it later when we were alone so until then, I decided to focus on Lily. I brushed my thumb down her uninjured cheek and her face didn't move at all, she must have been very deeply asleep. "The doctor said there was no brain damage, right?"
"None that show up on the MRI," Abeonim said. He must have known where I was going with this because he answered my next question without me having to ask it. "She'll wake up after she's rested some," he said.
Abeonim's phone went off after that and he stood up and walked to the other side of the room to answer it, not that he should have bothered because we could still hear him. "Yeobeoseyo?"
There was silence as whoever on the other line spoke to him. "Her core levels are way too low," Abeonim answered a question we didn't hear. It must have been someone who knew Lily, but who? "No internal damage," he said to whoever was listening. It was silent on Abeonim's side for a long time while he listened, "she what?"
I jerked my head around to look at Abeonim and I could tell by the shocked look on his face that it wasn't good.
"No, she never--," he told the person to hold on and turned to Ji Soo and I. "Did you guys know Lily had a job?"
I looked and Ji Soo and we both shook our heads. Lily had a job? Since when? I looked back at her and not for the first time, wished she'd wake up so I could ask her questions.
"That's it?" Abeonim asked and then more silence. "No, I never saw a list, I didn't even know she needed--no, I didn't know," Abeonim's shoulders sagged as he said the last part. "In the trash?" A lot of them?" More silence, I didn't think I had enough energy to be more worried or scared than I already was but I was wrong. Everything Abeonim was saying didn't sound good, in fact, I was willing to bet my soul that there was more that Lily had been keeping from us, aside from having a job, apparently. A quick glance at Ji Soo told me he was assuming the same as he held two fingers to his left temple, like he had a headache.
A new emotion was beginning to slither into my consciousness and it shocked even me; I realized aside from the worry and fear, I was also angry. It felt like betrayal and no matter how much I tried to temper down the anger, I couldn't. Certainly, I was worried about her and I most definitely was afraid for Lily but I was also furious with her, how could she have let this happen to herself?
I was so busy trying to gain control over my emotions that I hadn't heard Abeonim hang up the phone.
"What now," Ji Soo asked in a voice that sounded as tired as he looked.
"I think we are going to need to wait until Lily wakes up to get more answers," Abeonim said and he returned to his seat. "There were bloody tissues in her trash, enough of them that it's, well, it's no surprise she ended up in the hospital."
"Who was that," I asked numbly. With each bit of news, my chest had begun to hurt more and more and I didn't know how much more I could take.
"Soo Chan Min, her program adviser," Abeonim told me.
"What else did he say," Ji Soo asked.
"Just that Lily didn't have much in her room," Abeonim said and looked as confused as the rest of us.
"What does that have to do with anything," Ji Soo asked before I could.
"Well, it sounded like it shocked Chan Min, he said he'd given Lily a list of items she could bring," Abeonim said. "He assumed that when she started working she'd start buying stuff for her room but all he found were bathing supplies and some detergent."
"That's it," I asked.
"I guess so, she didn't even have bedsheets, he said," Abeonim leaned back in his chair and rested his head against the wall behind him.
"No bedsheets? What has she been been sleeping with," Ji Soo asked, sounding astonished.
"Chan Min said he was going to get a hold of her roommate and see what she knew," Abeonim shrugged, he sounded tired.
Abruptly, Ji Soo stood up and reached down for Lily's backpack and placed it on his now empty seat. Before anyone could ask what he was doing, he unzipped the big pocket and started pulling out items.
"What are you doing," I asked him.
"Seeing what else Lily's been hiding," Ji Soo said matter-of-factly.
"Wait, stop, that's her priva--"
"Oh my god," Ji Soo's words burst out of his mouth and he shoved the backpack into the chair, like he couldn't hold back any more. "Look around you, Jong Hwa! We are in a hospital."
"I know--"
"No, I don't think you understand," Ji Soo said angrily and he just stared at me disbelievingly. "Take a look at her face," and unwittingly I did. "This is not okay, Jong Hwa. None of this is okay. She is not okay," he said and took a deep breath and his voice lowered for his next words. "She doesn't get privacy anymore," he went back to pulling things out of her backpack and I couldn't find it within me to try and stop him. I just stared at her face and knew he was right, this wasn't okay.
"What is that," I heard Abeonim say and I was able to pull my eyes off Lily's face, but only barely.
"What--"
"Is that money," Abeonim asked. I couldn't see what he was talking about since Ji Soo's back was blocking my view and I tried to crane my neck around to see what they were looking at.
"It is," Ji Soo said and he sounded distant. "And a lot of it."
"Let me see," I said and Ji Soo turned around.
In his hands he held two medium sized baggies with wads of cash in each. He set one down and started to open the one he held but a voice stopped him before he could.
"Please don't touch my money," Lily's hushed voice said from behind me.
At once, all three of us stared at her. Lily had finally woken up.
To Be Continued...
***
*Chagiya: "Baby" it's a term of endearment for couples and used most commonly only within a couple dynamic
*Ireona: "Wake up"
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