Nae Chingu (My Friends) Chapter Thirteen

Nae Chingu (My Friends)

Chapter Thirteen

One Year Ago...

Ji Soo...

The scores for the last quarter's exams had been posted and as usual a large crowd gathered around the posting board to check scores. I usually stood back from the group because I didn't need to look to know I did well. I never actually needed to check the posting for any other reason than to find out if I had done better than Jong Hwa. We were always the top of our class but we consistently battled for first place, not that we cared much. It just encouraged us to work hard for the next exam.

    "Ugh, I'm so tired of them getting first place," a girl said from within the crowd.

    "I know, its like they want us to look bad," someone responded.

I knew they were talking about Jong Hwa and I. People complained about our scores so often that it no longer fazed me. If they wanted to be upset about Jong Hwa and I doing well then let them, I couldn't stop them and I sure wasn't going to stop doing well just to appease them so I just let it go.

    "You don't need help looking bad, you do just fine on your own," a voice I would recognize anywhere rang through the crowd and suddenly the low buzz of conversation died down almost immediately. "Why are you getting mad because you didn't do well? That isn't new," Mae Ri said to whoever had spoken.

I raised my head to look at the crowd and the only way I could tell where Mae Ri was standing was because of her ridiculous "Hello Kitty" hair pins. I had teased her about them earlier because it was actually a small "Hello Kitty" standing on stop of a pin but she said she liked them because when she aligned them with her pony tails it looked like the little cat figurine was "surfing the waves of her mane" as she'd so adeptly explained.

    "They do it just to make the rest of us look bad," there was a round of anonymous people agreeing with the statement. "And they only get good grades because they have connections. We all know Jong Hwa's mom works on the school board." Another round of agreements.

    "They get good grades because they study hard," Mae Ri's said pointedly. "Harder than you or I do and they get the grades they deserve," she continued. "I think you're just jealous because you can't stand the fact that they're smarter than you."

    "And the only reason you're defending them is because you're friends with them," the girl said. "Word is, you're more than friends with them. I heard you're exchanging favors with Ji Soo to get him to help you study."

    "What did you say," Mae Ri asked in a low voice. Uh-oh, whenever her voice got low, it meant she was about to explode. As much as I was enjoying watching Mae Ri defend me and Jong Hwa's honor, I needed to step in before she hit this girl.

    "I hear that you guys spend a lot of time at Lily's house "studying"," The stupid girl emphasized the word studying so we all knew what was she was implying. I started fighting my way through the crowed to get to Mae Ri. "I would expect it from Lily because she's American but don't you have any pride?"

Ok, time was up, I thought as I snatched the back of Mae Ri's backpack before she had time to lunge at the girl which was a good thing because not two seconds later Mae Ri was already straining against my grip to get at--Ok Min Joo. Ahh, it made sense now, she'd always been a sore loser.

    "Let go," Mae Ri said over her shoulder but I don't think she realized it was me. "Look here, you little--"

    "Mae Ri-ya," I cut her off before she could finish her sentence. She was persistent though so I gave one good tug and had her falling backwards into my arms so I could get a good grip on her and steer her away from a situation that would most likely end in her expulsion.

The crowed dispersed enough that I could pull her away from Min Joo and forcibly steer her down the hallway but Mae Ri kept shouting over shoulder as we walked away.

    "Better watch your back, Ok Min Joo," Mae Ri shouted. "Just you wait!"

    "Ya, Mae Ri-ya," I winced because that last declaration had been said directly into my ear.

    "Oh, mianhae," she said and I could feel the anger slid out of her rigid shoulders so I loosened my grip.

    "Why do you rise the bait," I asked her when we'd gotten far enough away that I felt safe letting her go. "You're lucky I was there otherwise you'd be expelled by now and probably missing half of your hair."

    "I could take her," Mae Ri said defiantly, like she was shocked I would doubt her fighting skills.

    "I don't doubt that," I admitted and it was true. I'd lay money on Mae Ri any time.

    "She's needs to be taught a lesson," Mae Ri grumbled. "Talking about people behind their back like that."

 My stomach did a flip. "Don't let it bother you, she does it every time scores are released," I said, ignoring my stomach.

    "But it shouldn't be that way, just because you did better than the rest of us doesn't give her the right to be a bitch," Mae Ri said.

    "Don't swear," I said even though I agreed. "Besides, how did I do?" We needed to change the subject otherwise Mae Ri would just get more worked up about it and who knew if I'd be there to stop her the next time she came across Min Joo.

She smiled, "You beat Jong Hwa this time around but only by four points so you better keep studying or he'll pass you again next quarter!" We stopped walking and she pointed her finger at me as if she was giving me a command.

    "Ye, Seonsaengnim*," I mocked and bowed to her.

    "Not funny," she said and smiled. I never noticed how pretty she was when she blushed, I mean, Mae Ri was obviously pretty but I'd never noticed or cared until now.

    "What did you rank," I had to stop looking at her or she'd notice I was staring.

    "Fifth," she said in a pouting voice.

    "That's pretty good," I said encouragingly.

    "Lily got fourth," she added begrudgingly. Ahh, she'd lost to Lily this time.

    "Guess we'll have to keep up those "study" sessions," I said and jogged the rest of the way to my classroom to avoid getting hit by Mae Ri.

That was the first time I noticed Mae Ri had become more than a friend. From that point on, I made sure I kept an eye on her so she wouldn't get into trouble because I couldn't think of anything worse than not seeing Mae Ri every day at school. Of course, what had I really known about "worse things" at that time? Nothing. I had known nothing.

***

Present Day...

Ji Soo...

I left my dad's office with a whole new outlook on my friend Lily. As soon as she woke up, he was going to start her on the pills, I just hoped they kicked in fast. I walked into the living room and found Mae Ri sitting at the end of the couch looking out the window.

    "Mae Ri-ya," I called for her quietly since I was fairly sure Jong Hwa and Lily were still sleeping.  She looked over at me with sad eyes and it hit me-I'd been so worried about Jong Hwa that I never even thought about the toll this was taking on Mae Ri.

    "Ji Soo," her voice was quiet. My usually loud and obnoxious Mae Ri was actually being quiet for once and it didn't sit well with me.

    "Ya," I gestured for her to get up. "Make yourself useful and come help me."

    "Help you with what," she asked but stood up anyway. None of us had changed out of the clothes we'd been in yesterday which meant Mae Ri was still wearing her school uniform and I felt bad for not noticing earlier. Her normally stylish accessories didn't seem as bright today and the pony tails she'd had yesterday had at some point become one ponytail that as swept into a disheveled looking bun.

    "Stay here," I walked off to my bedroom and quietly opened the door only to find that Jong Hwa wasn't inside anyway. I glanced at the door  at the end of the hallway and sighed. He must not have been able to sleep, well that was his choice. I rummaged through my dresser until I found a t-shirt and some sweat pants that would most likely make Mae Ri look frumpier than she already did but it would serve it's purpose.

I walked back to the living room and tossed them in her direction and she caught them,"Go change." When she just continued to stare at me cluelessly, I smiled. "Go changed, we're gonna make breakfast for everyone and I don't think you want to stain your uniform."

    "We're making breakfast," she asked me but headed towards my bedroom anyway. Very rarely did Mae Ri take orders and the fact that she was now told me just how out of sorts this whole situation had made all of us.

    "I don't know about you but I'm hungry and I'm sure everyone else is too. It's better to be helpful than helpless, don't you think?" I knew she must be feeling the same helplessness that I was feeling so I figured we could be helpless together.

    "Yes," she finally smiled her usually bright smile and my heart skipped a beat. "I'm going to go change."

    "Do that," I said and watched her slip into my bedroom to change.

She still looked beautiful, frumpy clothes and all, when she came back and I had to tell myself to breath.

    "What're we making," she asked as we both headed in the direction of the kitchen.

    "No idea," I admitted. I had no idea what was in the kitchen to make and I certainly didn't know how to cook very well.

    "I guess we'll have to make it work," she said confidently as she opened the refrigerator door.

And we did.

***

Lily...

I don't know how long I stayed in the bathroom but by the time I got out Ji Soo and Mae Ri were in the kitchen making breakfast. Since Jong Hwa wasn't with them I assumed he was still in the bedroom, possibly waiting for me to come back. Rather than go back to the room and confront Jong Hwa I sat at the kitchen table and just watched Ji Soo and Mae Ri cook. Their backs were to me as they were looking into a pot on the stove and discussing the consistency of whatever they were cooking. I knew neither of them could cook which meant whatever they were cooking was going to come out terrible if they didn't get help. I got up and stood behind them looking over their shoulders.

    "It's suppose to be thicker," Mae Ri said. "At least I think my mom's is," she ladled up some of the watery liquid.

    "What're you making," I asked.

    "Kkamjjakiya," they both said in unison as they jump away from me.

    "Mian," I apologized and stepped back.

    "Lily," Mae Ri shrieked and hugged me. I had the same reaction as earlier, I hesitated as she wrapped her arms around me. I squeezed my eyes shut and repressed the urge to push her away. She was my friend, I told myself. I did hug her back but with considerably less enthusiasm than she was hugging me.

    "Mae Ri-ya," I did finally pull her back but I did so as gently as I could.

    "Lily how are you feeling, are you ok," she started looking me up and down as if I'd have a gaping wound somewhere she could check. The only gaping wound was the one in my heart, I thought miserably.

    "I'm ok," I said and tried to smile. "I'm ok," I repeated as if to convince not only her but myself as well.

    "I was so worried," Mae Ri's eyes started to water. Uh-oh...

    "Aniyo, hajima, hajima," I pointed my finger in her face which she looked at and her eyes went cross-eyed trying to see it. "No more crying, you cry and I'll cry and we're not doing that."

    "Geurae," she sniffled but was able to keep her eyes relatively dry.

    "Where's Jong Hwa," Ji Soo asked and it was the first time I looked at him. He had on no accessories, that was my first thought. No earrings or necklace, I looked down at his hands and they too, were accessory free. Man, Ji Soo must be really feeling out of sorts, I thought. His hair was pulled back in a ponytail, not that it was long enough to even have a "tail" but there you go.

    "We had--" No I wasn't going to tell Ji Soo what happened. Jong Hwa would do that for me anyway. "I think he's still in the guest bedroom." I looked away so I didn't have to see Ji Soo's accusatory eyes. I'd hurt Jong Hwa and Ji Soo was bound to take his side, as he should, I told myself. They were friends way before I came into the picture and it was only right.

    "Go check on him," Mae Ri said to Ji Soo and he didn't need to be told twice before he was gone from the kitchen.

I wanted to run, the need was so strong that I almost took a step towards the front door. I gripped my hands together and forced myself to stand still. I was making things worse for everyone and I should just leave them alone but I had nowhere to go. I couldn't even move into the dorms until tomorrow. I had nowhere--

    "Lily," Mae Ri's voice broke through my inner thoughts.

    "Hmm," I looked at her and attempted to relax my grip on my hands.

    "I asked if you wanted to help me cook breakfast," she said. She looked unsure of herself which was a new experience. Mae Ri was also confident, or at least she'd always been with me.

    "Sure," I nodded and smiled at her despite my anxiety. Cooking calmed me, I knew that, and it was exactly what I needed. "What're we making," I asked.

    "Ji Soo said we should make chicken porridge," she said and put the soup ladle back in the pot to stir.

    "Have you started the rice," I asked her and looked around the kitchen.

    "Umm," Mae Ri looked around too, probably hoping that maybe Ji Soo had done it.

I laughed at her expression and it felt good. Mae Ri relaxed enough to chuckle too.

    "Ok, let's pull out two cups of rice," I took the ladle from her and took stock of the soup itself. They'd at least started boiling the chicken in water but hadn't added anything else to the water.

In a matter of ten minutes, I'd had the food preparation back on track and I personally felt better. Dr. Lee came in after that and asked me to see him in his office. I left a few instructions with Mae Ri for the food and followed Dr. Lee into his office.

    "Here are the antidepressants," he said and handed me a bottle. "Take one with breakfast and," he looked at me. "Well, you know the drill." His attempt at being humorous fell flat but I gave him a smile anyway.

    "Dr. Lee," I started to say something but he groaned.

    "Please call me Abeonim, I don't want to feel like a doctor in my own home," he said.

I refrained from looking around his home office but I don't think the reality was lost on either of us. In fact, he laughed at my obvious attempt of staying quiet.

    "You know, Lily," his voice took on a serious note and he looked at me closely. "What your father did was terrible and it was wrong."

Once again, I had to fight the urge to run.

    "I just want you to know that. I also wanted to tell you that you always have a place to stay here, you are always welcome," he put his hands in his pockets and looked around his office. "I know you would probably feel more comfortable at Mae Ri's or even Jong Hwa's house but I just wanted to make sure you knew you had a place here too."

I nodded, eager to get out of the room that was starting to become too stuffy.

He sighed, "I hear you're suppose to move into a dormitory tomorrow," he said. I nodded. "What time, I can take you over there," he offered.

    "No, it's okay. I can take a bus," I said. Last thing I needed was to burden myself to Dr. Lee.

    "I insist," Dr. Lee said in a tone that meant no arguments and Korean etiquette had me silently accepting his offer even though I had no desire to take it.

    "Ne," I nodded.

    "Okay," he gave me a concerned look but didn't say anything else before waving me out of the room. I bowed to him respectfully and all but fled the tiny office.

It was another hour before the food was finished cooking. Mae Ri and I spooned the chicken and rice porridge into bowls and placed them on the table and then came the side dishes--which Mae Ri had actually done herself. She'd boasted saying she was an expert at making the side dishes because she did it all the time at home, she just never made the actual meal. I teased her about learning her future wifely duties and the bantering that ensued felt just like our normal selves.

    "You grab the boys and I'll get Abeonim," Mae Ri said and immediately headed towards Dr. Lee's office.

A shadow passed over my good mood as I walked towards the back bedroom. What would Jong Hwa be like? Would he push me away and not want to be my friend after the harsh things I'd said to him earlier? Isn't that what you want? No...Yes...ugh, I didn't know. I knocked gently on the door and pushed it open.

Ji Soo and Jong Hwa were lying on the bed together except Ji Soo was laying on his back and Jong Hwa was on his side facing the window--looking away from me. Ji Soo saw me walk in and instantly threw a finger in front of his lips and figuratively "shushed" me. Jong Hwa must have been asleep, thankfully, he'd looked terrible earlier.

Ji Soo slowly got up from the bed and tiptoed his way to the door. We backed up and shut the door quietly so as not to wake up Jong Hwa. "How-how is he?" I asked but I wasn't entirely sure I wanted the answer.

    "Why don't you ask him when he wakes up," Ji Soo said in a kind voice but I still felt like I was hit with cold water.

I followed behind Ji Soo as he walked back towards the kitchen. Mae Ri and Dr. Lee were both sitting at the table and talking about something excitedly.

    "But then I thought why not make them twins and he could fall in love with both the bad and the--" Mae Ri turned as we came into the room. "Where's Jong Hwa?"

    "He's sleeping," Ji Soo pulled out the chair across the way from Mae Ri which left me no other place to sit but either across from Dr. Lee or next to him. I chose the former. "This looks good," he said while looking at the food.

    "I just put together the side dishes, Lily made everything else," Mae Ri chimed in and pushed the kimchi dish towards Ji Soo who took a piece eagerly.

    "Hmm, baegopa*," he said and dug into his porridge.

    "Meogeojuseyo*," I nodded my head at Dr. Lee and waited to pick up my spoon until after he picked up his. Mae Ri had already started eating.

    "So what were you guys talking about," Ji Soo asked while looking between his father and Mae Ri.

    "My screenplay," Mae Ri said excitedly between bites.

    "Which one is this now," Ji Soo asked like he truly cared.

As Mae Ri talked about the current mini-drama she was writing, I picked at my food. I was hungry, I knew I was hungry but I also knew that my stomach was in so many knots that the idea of food only made me more queasy.

    "I'm going to bring Jong Hwa a bowl so he has something to eat when he wakes up," I announced timidly. All their heads turned in my direction and I wished I hadn't said anything at all.

    "Ok," Ji Soo said after a moment. "Here," he used his chopsticks to put some bean sprouts on top of the porridge. "He likes these," was all he said.

I nodded and took the bowl towards the back bedroom where Jong Hwa was sleeping. I wondered if they could tell I just wanted to be alone. Or rather, that I just wanted to be with Jong Hwa.

***

Jong Hwa...

I'd been awake for about ten minutes when the door quietly opened. Thinking it was Ji Soo again checking in on me I didn't even bother opening my eyes. I needed time to think about the things he'd told me about Lily's history before I confronted Lily herself and I wasn't really looking forward to company. Looking back on our argument this morning, it made perfect sense why Lily had seemed so confused, even her cold words made sense in retrospect. Even understanding what was going on I still had no idea how to help her other than to not allow her to push me away but at what expense? I just knew one thing; Lily could push me away all she wanted but I'd never leave her by herself. After what her father and mother did, it was what she expected me to do and I wouldn't do it.

I almost jerked upright when I felt something cool touch my hand but instead I stayed still and silent. I knew without even opening my eyes that it was Lily. No one else would touch me while I was "sleeping" and under normal circumstances, neither would Lily.

From the sound of her movements, I could hear her settle herself on the floor all the while holding my hand loosely in hers. I wanted so badly to open my eyes and look at her but figured if I did that, she'd run from the room faster than I'd have a chance to even see her face so I stayed silent.

    "Joesonghaeyo*," she whispered. She leaned forward and rested her forehead on the back of my hand and it almost killed me not to move. I don't know why she was apologizing but I wanted to tell her whatever it was, it didn't matter.

I would have stayed still for the rest of my life if I thought that it would help her but unfortunately the moment was over almost as soon as it began but it was all the encouragement I needed to build my resolve. I would bring Lily back to herself no matter what it took.

To Be Continued...

~~~
*Seonsaengnim: "Teacher"

*Baegopa: "I'm Hungry"

*Meogeojuseyo "Meogeo" means "Eat' and "Juseyo" is tacked on to infer the word "Please"

*Joesonghaeyo: The formal version of "Mianhaeyo" but it means "I"m Sorry" with implied importance