Nae Chingu (My Friends) Chapter Seven

Nae Chingu

Chapter Seven

Thursday came without word from Chan Min Wednesday night and I could feel myself start to become panicky. I could barely focus during school and often caught myself looking out the window at the tall buildings of Seoul. God, what if I didn't get in? I really needed to figure out my options, Mae Ri's parents hadn't come to a decision yet which surprised me and if I was being honest, I was a little hurt. For three years I'd been Mae Ri's best friend, had spent countless nights at Mae Ri's parents and they'd never given me any indication that they didn't like me but then again, I'd never asked for them to let me move in. I guess that was slightly different than a weekend sleepover... Regardless, if they chose not to let me stay I wouldn't allow myself to be eternally hurt by it; they were good people and I would trust they had their reasons. I just needed to make sure Mae Ri understood that so she didn't do anything stupid, like actually run away. I sighed and didn't notice that our chemistry teacher was calling my name until Mae Ri turned around in her seat and knocked on my desk.

    "Huh," I looked up at Mr. Gu, who looked at me with his shrewd eyes and told me to answer the question. The only problem was, I hadn't actually heard it. "Joesonghamnida*," I apologized. "Could you repeat the question?"

    "Maybe you'd find your time better spent elsewhere, perhaps the hallway until class is over," he pointed to the door. It took me a second to realize he was serious. I gave him a hesitant bow before making my way to the door. It was no secret that Mr. Gu didn't like me, he hadn't since the day I transitioned to the regular classes. He'd never told me why but I suspected it was because I was a foreigner but since I couldn't do anything about that, I chose to stay out of his way.

Being out in the hallways wasn't all that bad, besides the embarrassment that came along with everyone knowing you got kicked out of class, it gave me time to reflect more on my options. Despite my many efforts last night to think of a plan B, nothing was forthcoming so I had to start thinking of the possibility of me not being able to stay at SFLHS. If that was the case, I could drop down to a regular public school and work part time jobs to pay for the hostel, that wouldn't be too bad expect the amount of hours I would have to work to pay for a hostel room would be a lot and wouldn't leave much time to study. But then again, if I dropped down to a public school, the chances of me needing a lot of study time also dropped considerably. So there was that; the only problem with that solution was I would be without my friends...but it was better than the alternative which was moving back to the States. The word "but" kept traveling around in my head and I eventually shook it to get it out. There would be no 'buts', I needed to find a solution and commit myself to it. If dropping down to a public school and working a part time job to cover hostel costs was better than the alternative then I guess I would bite the bullet and transfer. There, I nodded in self assurance. I had a solid plan B.

    "You look like you just came to a conclusion," a voice said from behind me. Ji Soo was standing there with his hands in his pockets looking at me. He looked somewhat conservative today and hadn't added much to the standard SFLHS ensemble except for the two asymmetrical earrings that dangled petite-looking skulls from his ears. One was longer than the other which made it look slightly odd but still completely Ji Soo.

    "I did," I smiled at him. His class must have been released early if he was showing up outside our classroom. After chemistry was lunch and luckily we had the same lunch hour as Ji Soo.

    "And what was it?" He asked as he scrubbed at the floor with the tip of his black tennis shoes.

    "If I tell you, you'll only tell Jong Hwa who won't like it so I think I'll keep this one to myself," I teased halfheartedly. It was true however and we both knew it, there wasn't anything that Jong Hwa and Ji Soo didn't tell each other so if I was going to keep this plan B to myself, I wouldn't be able to tell anyone, except maybe Mae Ri.

    "Now I want to know even more!" Ji Soo whined just as the doors to my classroom burst open indicating the class had ended. "What're you doing out here anyway?"

    "I got kicked out," I said sheepishly.

    "Jinjja? You never get kicked out," he looked genuinely surprised. "What happened?"

    "Exactly what I'd like to know myself," Mae Ri burst in as soon as she found us standing in the hallway.

    "Daydreaming," I covered quickly.

    "Daydreaming," Ji Soo scoffed. "You daydream in the middle of class, now I've seen it all?"

    "What, am I not allowed to daydream?" I pretended to sound  hurt.

    "I've never seen you do it before," Mae Ri said. It was about then that I noticed Jong Hwa had never come out of the room.

    "Jong Hwa eodiya*?" I started back for the classroom, I needed my wallet anyway if I was going to buy anything for lunch. I almost ran into Mr. Gu as he came out of the classroom but I sidestepped quickly while he only sniffed at me snootily. God, what crawled up your butt today, I wanted to ask.

By the time I turned to head through the door Jong Hwa was already heading out and we collided head first into each other with enough force to knock me on my butt. I didn't have time to stand back up and straighten my skirt before Mae Ri was in Jong Hwa's face and yelling at him about his terrible manners.

    "Mae Ri," I tried to pull her back. "Mae Ri-ya!" That finally got her attention. "We just bumped into each other, I'm fine. No need to go all Edward Elric on Jong Hwa, it was an accident." I patted down my skirt while Mae Ri pulled herself together. Yeah, I thought, sometimes she was a handful but she always had my back.

    "Here," Jong Hwa passed my purse off to me. "For lunch," he muttered before heading towards the cafeteria and suddenly I felt bad for Jong Hwa. I hadn't done anything wrong but sometimes Mae Ri was over protective and ever since she found out about the possible move, her protectiveness had gone into overdrive. Also, it couldn't have been easy to like Mae Ri, the girl was a landmine just waiting to be stepped on. That thought brought up another one from a few days ago of Jong Hwa insisting that Mae Ri and Ji Soo start dating. Why would he say that if he wanted to date Mae Ri himself?  That thought process left me feeling slightly queasy and I rubbed my stomach to help ease the feeling.

    "Well if you stopped daydreaming, we could head to lunch," Mae Ri pointed at my hand which was currently rubbing my abdomen. "Kaja," she turned around and headed for the lunch room.

After waiting in line and getting our food we all sat down and started to eat. This was the most quiet we ever got, mostly because Mae Ri's mouth was usually full of food instead of talking but today it seemed extra quiet. Before I knew it, my thoughts were back on the tests I had taken for the ESE exams and going over my answers again. This process had been on an endless loop in my head since Monday and the longer and longer it took for Chan Min to call me, the more and more I worried.

It went by like this for a few minutes before Mae Ri gasped in shock suddenly. I turned my head just in time to see Cho Geun Ma spill her milk down Mae Ri's back. If it had been any other student, it would have been considered an accident but since it was Geun Ma, we knew it was purposeful. One look at Mae Ri's face and I knew she was about to explode. Geun Ma and Mae Ri had been rivals since middle school when Mae Ri starting dating Geun Ma's crush. It was before my time, but from what I'd heard Mae Ri was quite the playgirl back then and often flitted from guy to guy. Since I'd known her, she'd only had one boyfriend and it hadn't lasted very long at that.

    "Mae Ri--" I tried to get her attention but it was too late.

    "You little--" was all Mae Ri got out before she was up from her seat and pushing at Geun Ma who was all too happy to fight with Mae Ri. The problem was, fighting was absolutely prohibited and if Mae Ri threw the first punch, she'd more than likely be expelled or at the very least suspended which would probably cost her the scholarship she needed to keep going to this school.

    "Ji Soo, grab her!" I shouted and we all left our food abandoned at the table in an attempt to get Mae Ri away from Geun Ma. Ji Soo got a hold of Mae Ri around the waist and began hauling her towards the door but that didn't stop Mae Ri from attempting to get a kick in. Having no other option, I jumped between Mae Ri's foot and Geun Ma and took the kickin Geun Ma's place.

Because I wasn't fully prepared for it, Mae Ri's kick knocked me to the side and the sharp corner of the lunch table found a nice little home behind my right shoulder and the pain knocked the air out of me. I mean, I could breath but I tried not to hoping the pain wouldn't be as bad. There were a group of people around me, all staring down at me but no one offered to help me up. At least not until Jong Hwa pushed his way through the pulled me to my feet. He must not have actually seen me fall because he pulled me up by my right arm and I nearly passed out from the excruciatingly sharp pain that shot down my arm.

    "Ah!" I yelped and he instantly let go of my arm.

    "Where are you hurt?" He asked almost frantically while looking for signs of bleeding.

    "My shoulder, I'm ok," I gasped out and cradled my arm to my chest. "Where's Mae Ri?" I could no longer hear her.

    "Ji Soo has her, lets go to the nurses office," He started pushing people out of the way, the cafeteria was abuzz with chatter and I was actually starting to feel a little woozy, like I was too warm all of a sudden.

    "No, lets find Mae Ri first, she's going to be too much for Ji Soo to handle," I pushed my hair out of my face and took several deep breaths to try and pull myself together.

    "But you're hurt," Jong Hwa said but I ignored him and headed for the cafeteria doors. I didn't know where they had gone but based off the stares and quiet tittering of gossipers, I just followed the trail until I could hear their voices.

    "You know you can't get into fights, she's only provoking you to get you expelled!" Ji Soo was saying loudly to a crying Mae Ri--or at least I assumed it was her crying, I couldn't confirm it until I turned the corner.

    "My uniform," she gasped between sobs. "It's ruined, Ji Soo!"

    "I know, Ma Cherie*," Ji Soo said quietly right as I turned the corner. 'Ma Cherie', I didn't know French but I knew enough that it made me wonder why Ji Soo used that term for Mae Ri. I shook my head and decided it wasn't important right now and focused on what had happened.

Mae Ri was huddled on the ground with her SFLHS jacket lying in her lap. Even from ten feet away I could see the huge milk stain on the back of it and I cringed silently to myself. These uniforms weren't cheap and neither was a good dry cleaner. Chances were that stain wasn't going to come out fully. Ji Soo was sitting on the balls of his feet in front of her trying to console her but not doing a very good job of it based off his last statement.

    "Hey, Mae Ri, it's ok," I pulled out a tissue from my pocket. "You know, a stain like that I can get out without a problem." I attempted to cheer her up, no idea if I actually could get the stain out or not. "Here, just wear my jacket and I'll take yours home to wash," I started to ease my jacket off but as soon as I moved my right arm, the shooting pain started again and I sucked in air.

    "Oh Lily, I kicked you," Mae Ri forgot all about the jacket was busy looking over me in an attempt to find a wound. Little did she know it was my shoulder that was wounded. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean--I mean I did, but it wasn't meant for you!"

I forced out a laughter as I finally got the jacket off my left arm but it didn't get much further before both Ji Soo and Jong Hwa reacted to something behind me. "What, what is it?" I tried to turn but Jong Hwa just pulled down my jacket more until it was hanging off my right elbow.

    "That's it, we're going to the nurse's office," Jong Hwa didn't even wait for an answer before he hauled me up by my left arm and the sudden altitude change made me gag.

    "Wait," I choked out while I breathed through my mouth.

    "Oh Lily," fresh sobs erupted from Mae Ri and I had the feeling something terrible had happened and everyone knew it but me.

    "What--" I felt weak and was extremely warm by now. "I don't feel--" and that's the last thing I remembered before waking up in the nurses office nearly fifteen minutes later.

***

When I woke up I noticed a few things first: 1) I was lying on my stomach in the infirmary with my uniform shirt pulled halfway down my arms and; 2) my friends were all whispering behind the pulled curtain. I tried to listen but couldn't hear what they were saying because it was too low and definitely too fast.

Instead of trying to figure out what they were discussing, I decided to do a self check. It was my first experience fainting and I assumed I'd feel even worse after waking up but I actually felt better. I wonder if fainting is a lot like restarting a computer? I reached for my right shoulder and felt a gauze pad over where I'd gotten hit. I moved my arm and although it still hurt it was no where near as excruciating as before.

They must have heard me move because my friends quickly shushed up and three human sized shadows appeared just beyond the curtain.

    "Lily, are you ok?" Mae Ri asked tentatively. "Can I open the curtain?"

    "Just a sec," I called before sitting up and pulling my shirt all the way up. It took another moment to button the shirt back into place but when I felt like I had been put back to rights, I said "Ok."

Mae Ri pulled the sheet back and the first thing I thought was that she looked awful. Her eyes were puffy and her face was blotched like she'd been doing some serious crying, her face hadn't even looked this bad when we found  her in the hallway after the Geun Ma incident. "Oh my god, Mae Ri, what happened?"

Fearing the worst, that perhaps she was going to be suspended or expelled, I grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the bed to sit next to me. "What happened?" I asked again and was shocked to see Mae Ri burst into tears. This was absolutely not what she needed. "Ya, ulji maseyo*," I said and pulled her into a  hug. I looked over at the other two and Ji Soo was leaning against the opposite wall with his hands in his pockets and Jong Hwa was looking out the infirmary window. What he was looking at, I didn't know. It was clear I wasn't going to get an answer out of them.

    "Ok, ok," I pulled back from Mae Ri and wiped her face clear of tears but because I didn't have a tissue, I had to wipe my hands on my skirt. "Ok, Mae Ri-ya, nae chingu Mae Ri, what happened? Did you get suspended?"

She sniffled a few more times before shaking her head. Uh-oh, "Di-did you get expelled?"

She shook her head again and I felt relieved and I laughed excitedly. "Then why are you crying? This is good!"

    "I hurt you," she mumbled while still trying to compose herself.

    "Oh I'm fine," I emphasized the word "fine" because I was. I was a little achy but it wasn't like permanent damage had been done. "Really, I'm fine."

Jong Hwa took an audible breath at the window and Ji Soo pushed off the wall and walked towards the desk and picked up what looked to be like four passes. "Why don't we head back to class, we're already late."

What the heck? All of my friends were acting very weird and it instantly raised my shackles. What had I missed while I was out? "Is something going on I should be aware of?" They all said no at the exact same time which only proved that I had truly missed something. "What is it?"

    "It's nothing," Ji Soo said before handing out the passes to each of us and putting a half-assed fake smile on his face. "We're late, we should go." He nodded at Mae Ri who silently nodded back.

    "I'm going to run by the bathroom first," Mae Ri said and pushed off the bed.

    "I'll go with you," I said and stood up but she shook her head.

    "No, it's ok. I just have to wash my face, I'll see you in class," she said and was out the door.

    "Kaja, Jong Hwa," Ji Soo said and Jong Hwa finally turned around. He didn't look alright either, I couldn't tell what was going on by his face. He just seemed different than earlier. I was about to ask him what was wrong when he swept past me and headed out the door. Ji Soo gave me another forced smile and headed out the door as well. With no choice, I followed after them but I lagged behind intent on figuring out what happened. Since we were walking behind Jong Hwa he didn't notice when I pulled on Ji Soo's sleeve to keep him from going into class.

    "I'm not an idiot, Ji Soo, something is wrong," I looked at him pointedly.

    "Look, it's just better if we all act like nothing happened and go back to normal," he said.

    "Ji Soo--"

    "We're all upset about what happened in the lunch room but we'll get over it," he said which sounded mostly true. He still looked like he was keeping something back though. You didn't get to be best friends with someone without knowing the person well. And I knew my friends well...

    "Did Jong Hwa say something to Mae Ri," I asked and Ji Soo sighed so I must have been right.

    "Why do I even try," Ji Soo muttered to himself and then said something in French. "Jong Hwa may or may not have been upset enough to say some things to Mae Ri."

    "Like what," I asked.

    "Like saying that Mae Ri could have killed you if it'd been your head rather than your shoulder that was hit," Ji Soo sighed.

He what--! Why would he say that, I asked myself.

    "Listen, he was upset after you fainted in the hallway, he'd thought you might have hit your head," Ji Soo continued. "The nurse said you fainted due the pain and the sudden adrenaline drop but that you were otherwise fine. It just shook us all up, that's all."

    "And that's the whole truth," I asked him.

    "The whole truth," he nodded. "Can I go to class now, some of us has a rank to maintain," he joked. I nodded and he left to go back to class.

After he was gone, I headed back to my own class but I waited for Mae Ri before I went back in. When she finally made it back to class, she looked much better than she had in the infirmary. It was amazing what cold water did to the face. I smiled at her and she smiled tentatively back.

    "Look, don't listen to Jong Hwa," I hugged her again and pulled back, afraid I'd make her cry again. "I'm fine, we're fine, we're all going to be fine, so lets just put it all behind us."

    "Ok," she nodded.

    "Just one more thing," I said and took off my jacket. I started to push Mae Ri's off her shoulders before she protested.

    "No, Lily, it's--"

    "It's not ok, I can't have my best friend going back into a class with a milk stain on the back of her jacket," I said before saying, "it doesn't go well with those green nylons of yours." That earned me a laugh and the jacket.

Honestly, I didn't mind wearing a milk stained jacket, even after all the stares I got when we went back into the classroom. I'd been an outsider for so long that people staring at me no longer had an effect on me. Besides, the glare we got from Geun Ma more than made up for it. As we sat down, I shot a thumbs up to Jong Hwa who gave me a small smile before turning back to the front to listen to the teacher. He too, had a rank to consider.

***

Despite the excitement of the day, the rest of school passed by incredibly uneventful for which, I'm sure, we were all grateful. We were all walking out of the school together, somewhat subdued than we usually were but still, we were all together despite the mess that happened during lunch. We all headed for the city bus that would take us to the convenient store. It was like secondhand nature to us so although we were all a little awkward around each other, it was comforting to know that we were all still on the same page.

What would it feel like if we all stopped being in sync? I shuddered to think about it. TVXQ's Mirotic started playing and I quickly removed my gloves so I could answer my phone.

    "Yeoboseyo?" I didn't recognize the number.

    "Ms. Ril-Li?" a deep voice asked.

    "Ne," I answered. Who was this?

    "Ah, Hello. This is Soo Gae Sik," He said which meant nothing to me.

    "I'm sorry, I don't know who--"

    "I am the Director of the Educational Student Exchange," he provided with a small chuckle.

I stood up so quickly that I hadn't realized I'd done it until I was already on my feet. "Oh! Ah-Annyeonghaseyo, Soo Gae Sik-ss!" I bowed even though I knew he couldn't see it.

    "Annyeong," he laughed again. "You just got out of school, no?"

    "Yes," I chirped excitedly.

    "Do you have time to come down so we talk about the program," he asked.

    "Yes, I can head there right now," I checked my watch and looked at my friends who were all staring at me curiously.

    "Good, good," he said. "I'll see you soon." And he hung up. I had long since gotten used to the Korean version of saying goodbye on the phone which consisted of just hanging up when there was nothing else to be said. I put my phone away and turned to my friends.

    "I'm sorry, I have to go," I told them. "That was the Director from the ESE, he wants to see me right now."

    "Really?" Mae Ri said.

    "What're you talking to us for, go," Ji Soo commanded.

    "Call me," Jong Hwa said as I rushed across the street to catch the bus that would take me to the ESE. I got there just in time to get on the bus, all the while waving at my friends who were cheering me on from across the street.

That's when it hit me, we were truly going to be ok.

***

When I got to the ESE, I was pushed through to Chan Min almost immediately who greeted me with a big smile. I rushed to him and gave him a hug, which I'm sure surprised the heck out of him. I pulled back quickly so I didn't make him more uncomfortable than he probably already was.

    "I'm sorry, I just had to do that," I apologized quickly.

    "It's ok," he gave me a small laugh.

    "The Director called me, that's a good thing right?" I asked him.

    "It's a good thing," he nodded and ushered me through the door that lead to his office. We made our way back to his desk and we sat down. "Your scores on the tests were incredibly," he said first.

    "That's good news, my education wasn't a waste, then, huh?" I was giddy and I told myself to calm down.

    "No, quite the opposite," he sat back and crossed his legs. "The Director was also very impressed by your essay but I don't want you to get too confident."

    "Oh, I'm not. I'm just glad I've come this far," and that was all I needed to hear to close down all sense of excitement. Now I was just nervous.

    "The Director is a fair man and I think the interview is just so he can meet you in person but he's been known to turn away potential students despite their exam scores so just remember that," Chan Min nodded to make sure I understood and I nodded back. "Smile and be honest, you ready?"

Suddenly I felt like I didn't want to meet the Director. My palms had become sweaty and I rubbed them on my jacket to try and get rid of the moisture. "Yeah, I think I am."

Chan Min showed me the way to the Director's office and gave me one last piece of advice, "Just breath," he said. I had to suppress a laugh because his advice reminded me of my favorite movie, "Ever After" where the leading lady tells her self to just breath before revealing herself to the prince and it was enough to calm me down again. Chan Min knocked on the door and waited for the Director to tell us to come in.

The office wasn't fairly big which surprised me. In fact, it was downright humble! There was a small, wooden desk that the Director sat at which had piles of papers on it with a computer and a lamp. Although it was standard to have higher ranking executives to have plaques on their desk to indicate their name, it was usually something stylish but not this time. This time it was just a piece of wood with his name etched into it in fancy lettering. There were two chairs sitting in front of the desk that were spindly looking by comparison to the plush chairs that were sitting in the lobby. The most impressive thing in the office were the letters of certificates and awards that were hung on the wall behind the Director and the Director himself, not at all what I expected.

I expected a man in an expensive suit of about forty years old, based off his voice, but what I got was a man of about sixty in a knitted sweater and black dress pants. His face had clear lines of old age, and he looks quite homely. His thinning hair was swept off to the side in a borderline messy fashion and he had a pen behind his ear. His appearance shocked me but it must not have been surprising because Chan Min entered the office and didn't hesitate in introducing me. Going with the flow, I gave a respectful bow and introduced myself.

    "It's nice to meet you, Ril-Li," he said and gestured to a chair in front of him. I nodded to Chan Min who nodded back and walked back out of the office and shut the door. "How are you doing?"

Listening to Chan Min's advice, I was honest. "I'm nervous, Sir," I told him and took a sit in front of the Director.

He laughed and sat back in his swivel chair and looked at me and I felt like I was being inspected. I was just glad I didn't have to take my jacket off because then he would see the milk stain. "Why are you nervous," he asked me.

    "For several reasons," I admitted. "I-I really need," I back tracked. "Want. I really want into the program." I tried not to stutter but whenever I got nervous, I stuttered.

    "Any other reasons, I should know about," he asked inquisitively. It wasn't in a mean way, but like he was honestly curious as to why I was nervous.

    "Honestly, because what I decide next depends on the outcome of this interview," I told him.

    "How so," he replied.

    "If you decide to decline my application then I'll have to start working on my plan B because either way," I took a deep breath. "Either way, I'm staying in Korea."

    "Hmm," he said noncommittally.  He took a few moments before he pulled some papers off his desk and began reading them.

I squeezed my eyes shut, I just messed up. I shouldn't have been honest, why couldn't I have just said I was fine! My chest tightened but I beat it back, if I was going to freak out, I'd freak out when I was out of this office. When I opened my eyes, he was still reading from the papers and I waited to be dismissed.

    "In your essay, you wrote you deserved to be accepted into the program because you "found a home in Korea"," he quoted. It must have been my essay he was reading from.

    "Yes," I concurred because I did, in fact, say that. Maybe I wasn't finished after all...

    "Why?"

Why? Why what? Why did I write that? I was confused, "Why, Sir?"

    "Why is Korea your home?" He clarified and dropped my essay onto his desk.

Why? That was a good question, one I had an answer for. "When my father moved me from Germany, I was upset. I was leaving my friends, I was leaving my school, but it wasn't until I started living in Korea that I realized I was never upset because I was actually leaving Germany." I said and looked down at my fingers. I'd never spoken about it because once I accepted Korea, there was never any need too. "When my father said we were leaving Korea, of course, I was upset because I would be leaving my friends again and my school but I was mostly upset because I was leaving the district I lived in, I was leaving the view outside my bedroom window, I was leaving the people at my local market. I was leaving the streets of Seoul and the buses, the taxis, "I stopped talking because I could have honestly kept going. "My point is, I was leaving a country I loved, a country that was as much a part of me as my own soul and what more could be considered home than that?"

When I was finished, he gave a nod of acknowledgement and pursed his lips. "Well, that's it then."

That's it? Did that mean the interview was done, or that I was accepted? Why did this man keep using such cryptic sentences? "Sir?"

    "Chan Min will help you with the paperwork," he said dismissively and waved towards the door.

    "Th-the paperwork?" I asked, confused.

    "Oh, Ms. Ril-Li," he chuckled which only added to my confusion. "You were accepted before you even walked through that door."

***

When I left the Director's office, I was in a daze. So dazed that I couldn't even feel excited. It had happened, I had been accepted. I was staying, I was--

I had to brace myself on the wall while I waited for the feeling in my legs to come back.

    "Ril-Li?" Chan Min came around the corner with a concerned look on his face. "Gwaenchana?"

    "How did you know I was here," I didn't even bother answering his question. I felt hot and I was wondering if I was going to faint for the second time that day.

    "My father called me and said you looked unwell," he said and checked my forehead.

    "Yo-your father?" I asked him.

He looked kind of sheepish, "the Director is my father," he told me.

Following that little revelation, Chan Min helped me back to his desk and by the time I sat down I was feeling better and in fact, borderline ecstatic. I had gotten into the program! I had actually done it. I felt like I could give Chan Min another hug by I refrained. I'd hug Mae Ri later.

    "As far as paperwork goes, it's just a temporary contract and school placement documents," Chan Min told me and he pulled out two forms. "I'll just explain the contact briefly; It's an agreement between the Educational Student Services and yourself that state that as long as you keep your grades at a minimum GPA of 3.8 and agree to stay out of any trouble while attending school, we will cover all room and board costs and educational costs as well as providing a small amount for allowance that will be given monthly."

I nodded as he continued.

    "You will be required to move into the dorm, as soon as next week. Since the semester has already started, we have already paired you with a roommate from America, her name is Emily. I'll provide you with a list of items you'll need but not much is allowed in the dorms beyond that. If you have any questions on items you'd wish to bring, you can always ask me." He flipped a few pages. "The contract also pertains to your post-secondary education obligations. Assuming you've read about the elite high school program, you know you have to major in education, right?

    "Yes," I said.

    "Good, then, that should be all the key points. Stay out of trouble and keep your grades up and everything should be fine," he smiled and gave me the contract along with a pen. I signed my name and dated it. He took the contact from me and placed it in a blue file that had my name on it. "Ok, next on the agenda is picking a school."

    "Picking a school, like a college," I asked. It seemed a little early to be picking a college but then again, maybe it was all part of the program.

    "No, a high school," he said and looked up at me. "You'll be needing a pick a high school to attend from here on out," he told me.

My stomach bottomed out as I realized I wouldn't be able to continue to attend school with my friends...it seemed I would be transferring anyway. How was I going to tell the others?

To Be Continued...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Eodiya: Where or Where is
*Ma Cherie: French for "My Dear"
*Ulji maseyo: "Do not cry"

My Sister and I

Chapter Two

I woke up groggy the next morning. I glared evilly at my alarm clock as it read seven a.m. Honestly, the school system had it all wrong; elementary age children naturally woke up at early hours so why elementary school didn't start until nine-thirty or ten in the morning completely boggled me. Luckily, fate had been on my side when my parents bought this house because not only did it take me less than ten minutes to get ready for school but I could be in school in less than five minutes. So I usually slept in as late as possible, as long as I woke up within twenty minutes of the first bell.

This morning I got up and slowly got ready for school like I normally did and it wasn't until I was putting my boots on that I remembered I had a meeting with Reggie before first period.

    "Hell," I muttered and dashed out the door and ran up the hill to the side door of school. I made it to the front office with only five minutes to spare before my first hour.

    "You're really trying my patience, Melissa," Reggie said without looking up from his paperwork. Reggie was an intimidating man, or he would have been if he wasn't one of the most fairest faculty members at the school. Reggie was the kind of teacher that tried to work with students rather than make students follow a strict set of rules. He also didn't put up with any bull. He was in charge of Student Affairs so basically he was the ultimate guidance counselor, you had to be pretty messed up to merit a meeting with him. I guess I was one of the lucky few.

He was a tall man with skin as dark as my black boots but when he smiled, man, it was the friendliest smile you'd ever get from a teacher--as long as you didn't give him any lip. Reggie and I had become fast friends almost from the very first day of school, of course I had been skipping class at the time and he'd caught me which gave me my first lesson on Mr. Reggie Lanfield. Ever since then, we'd been on a first name basis.

    "Lucky for you, however," he continued and finally looked up at me. "You got out of lunch duty today."

    "Is there anything else I lucked out on," I asked hopeful. Wishful thinking I knew but it was worth a try.

    "In fact, yes there is." Reggie smiled at me, all white teeth ad gums. It was kind of unnerving in this situation, he was never this nice.

    "Really," I asked hesitantly. "What is it?"

    "You do realize you have about a hundred and ten hours of detention, not including yesterday's--unexcused--mishap, right?" He said all this without losing his smile but I had a sudden sinking feeling this was leading nowhere good.

    "Yeah..." I answered.

    "Even if you did an hour a day of detention, you still wouldn't be able to complete your hours before graduation," he said. Still speaking cheerfully, when was the other shoe going to drop, I thought.

    "Is my punishment suppose to be standing here listening to you berate me," I asked irritated. I knew full well I was giving him attitude which Reggie never took positively but I didn't know where he was going with this line of thinking.

    "Careful, Melissa, I'm about to do you a huge favor," he warned. I failed to see how and asked him as much.

    "How so," I asked.

He shifted some papers around on his desk and pulled out what appeared to be a completely random sheet and handed it to me. I took the paper and looked at it carefully. It was my transcripts, dating all the way back to sixth grade.

    "What are you--"

    "Take a look at those English grades," he instructed.

A-A-A-B-A-C-A-A..."What about them," I asked and shrugged at the same time.

    "You excel in English, why?" He waited for an answer even though the warning bell rang indicating we had one minute to get to class.

    "I don't know, but class is--"

    "Don't worry about class, I'll write you a pass," he said and waved it off with his right hand.

    "Ok, but what does my English grades have to do with me getting rid of my detention hours?" I was still at a complete loss, when would he get to the point?

    "I want you to start a project," he sat back in his chair which creaked under his weight. He wasn't fat by any means but he was solid. He looked at me closely before saying, "Starting today, I want you to keep a diary."

I stood there in complete silence waiting for him to start laughing. When he didn't, I knew he wasn't joking.

    "Excuse me," I asked stunned.

    "Yeah, that's about what I thought your reaction would be," he chuckled and opened up a drawer in his desk and pulled out a medium sized book. It was lime green and looked rather simple but I instantly disliked the thing. "Your favorite color is still green, right?"

    "It was before this exact moment," I said slowly and continued to stare at the book. "What is that?" I dreaded his answer even though I already knew.

    "Your new diary," he smiled brightly and I had the sudden vision of me punching him in the face.

    "You're joking," again, this was said with attitude. "Right?"

    "Not to sound like Thor or anything but do I look to be in a jesting mood," his smile never faded but it did become more threatening.

    "Was that rhetorical," I asked honestly.

    "Mel," he warned.

    "Sorry! I just don't know what you expect from me," I said defensively. A diary, I mean, come on!

    "I'm so glad you asked," he said brightly."I expect you to write in this book every day starting from today until the Friday before graduation," he said. "If," he enunciated that single word. "If you wish to graduate on time," he finished. He handed the book to me and I took it as gingerly as I wold have if it was dynamite.

I was surprised to find it was heavier than it looked. I opened the first page and had to appreciate the design. The paper was compressed and matted, kind of like the paper you could make yourself at the renaissance festival. It looked pretty cool, I had to admit actually, but I still wasn't sold on this idea.

    "Reggie, I don't--"

    "This is your only chance, Melissa," he said. "You can't serve more than two hours of detention a day and even if you started today, you'd never serve all your hours."

He had a point, sadly. What was the saying again, hindsight was twenty-twenty? I shouldn't have skipped so much, I mentally scolded myself.

    "Mel," he sighed and sat up straight again. "All I'm asking you to do is write your thoughts down, once a day and bring me the book every Monday. Let me check the entries and I'll erase your detention hours at the end of this semester," he said reasonably.

    "Are you going to read all the entries," I asked. I wasn't sure what bothered me more, the fact that I was being made to do this or the fact that he'd be reading all my thoughts.

    "Yes," he said simply.

    "So what stops me from discussing the weather or what I've eaten on any particular day?" Because if there were no restrictions, that's about all he'd get from my entries.

He laughed, "Because if I feel like you're just writing nonsense, I won't delete your hours and I'll see you at summer school. Simple as that."

    "So, I just need to write my thoughts and feelings," I clarified.

    "Yup," he nodded. "Everyday."

    "Everyday," I muttered.

    "I know it'll take some time to really get into a flow but I know you'll get it," he reached into his desk again and pulled out his hallway pass pad. He wrote me a pass to my first hour but stopped me halfway to his office door. "Remember, Melissa," he tapped the calendar sitting on his desk. "Everyday and please, go to math today."

    "Sure thing, Reg," I called over my shoulder with a mock salute.

***

True to my word, I stayed for math class and even took it one step further and didn't start a fight with my teacher.

After school I went home and immediately started my homework so by the time my parents came home, I was completely done. We were about halfway through dinner when my father cleared his throat indicating he had something to say.

    "So, I got a call from Reggie today," he said and I groaned.

    "What? Why? I even stayed for math class," I whined and put down my fork, thinking I was about to get chewed out by my parents.

    "He said he gave you an assignment," he scooped more hamburger helper into his mouth. "Wanna tell me about it," He muffled through the food in his mouth. Both my parents looked at me expectantly. I was going to get back at Reggie...

    "Not really," I mumbled and my mother raised her eyebrows. "But I will," I added quickly. "It's not anything, really, it's kind of like...a writing thing," I trailed off, hoping that would be enough information.

    "He said something about a diary," my father said.

Yup, I was going to TP Reggie's desk first thing in the morning. Hardcore TP, the wet, gross, impossible-to-get-rid-of kind of TP too. "Can we not call it that, geez," I rolled my eyes. "It's a journal, let's call it a journal, ok?"

    "Ok, so he wants you to write in a dia-" my mother quickly retracted her words after I shot her a warning glare. "Dia-journal, but why?"

    "To help with graduation," I said. No need to mention--

    "It's for the detention she's accumulated the last four years," my father supplied.

    "Dad!" I interjected, irritated that he outted me to my mother. "If you already knew all the details, why did you even ask?"

    "Because I wanted you to tell your mother," he said innocuously.

    "Well, how much detention did you accumulate," my mother asked.

    "Just a couple--"

    "One hundred and ten hours," my father answered for me.

    "Dad!"

    "A hundred and te-how?" My mother's voice raised about ten octaves and I cringed. I didn't even have to look at her to know her face was bright red with anger.

    "Mom, it's not a big deal," I tried to pacify her. "Reggie said he'd cancel all the hours if I wrote in the diary," I said.

    "I thought we were calling it a journal," my father asked innocently.

I whipped my head to the left to glare at him. I didn't even bother to shout but I gave him my most intimidating look which I probably failed miserably at, "Thin ice, Dad."

    "Ok, Ok," he gave in and put more food in his mouth.

    "Well, I guess you should keep up with the diary," my mother said.

    "It's a journal, God!" I groaned and dropped my head onto the table hard enough to rattle the silverware.

***

The rest of dinner passed by peacefully but when I headed back to my room, the first thing I did was pull out the journal. Reggie wanted me to write my feelings, well here went nothing:

Dear Reggie,

        Thanks for ratting me out to my parents. I truly appreciate it. can you sense the sarcasm dripping from my written words? Well, let me assure you, there is heavy sarcasm. Dinner with the 'rents was quite delightful. She said with heavy sarcasm again.

I was hoping he'd get the picture...

How am I feeling? Besides, irritated, I feel stupid writing this. I hope you don't expect much to come from this exercise of yours. I mean seriously, who do you think I am? Anne Frank? She at least had World War II to write about. What am I suppose to write about? I'm a teenager from Mid-America, nothing exciting happens here. I could write about the war on terrorism except well, isn't that was newspapers are for?  We had hamburger helper for dinner...Oh! I went to math class and didn't start a fight with Ms. Jano. Although I still don't understand why I can't do the math problems my way as long as I get the right answer, seems stupid to me. 

I was quickly running out of ideas to talk about. How was I feeling? Bored...Stupid...that about summed up my feelings, actually. I wanted to get back to my cultures book so I decided to close out my entry with that.

Well I have a book I want to get back too. It's about the different cultures around the world. It's pretty interesting, actually. So, with that I'm going to say....goodbye? Ugh, this is too weird...

I debated on whether I should sign the bottom but felt too foolish and just dated the entry and left it at that. I put the book in the drawer of my nightstand and pulled out my cultures book.

***

I didn't dream that night...

My Sister and I

Chapter One

If you had told me that my dead sister would take me on the ride of my life, I would have laughed in your face and told you to lay off the meds. Of course, that was before my sister showed up in my dream one night....she may have been dead for the last seven years but she'd been plenty busy...

***

I hitched my backpack on my shoulder and figuratively kissed the school goodbye by sneaking out one of the side doors that would lead me to the street closest to my house. I didn't always skip my last class but I'd had a considerably rotten day up to this point, I wasn't feeling much up to attempting to learn math. I hated math anyway and it was no secret that there was no love lost between the teacher and myself so I just did us both a favor by not even showing up. My house was practically within spitting distance of the school so I didn't have far to go and I would reach home well before the security personnel could notice a student left earlier than allowed. I just hoped the person manning the cameras didn't inform Reggie, head of the Student Affairs department of my absence because he had no problem hauling my butt back to school; I made that mistake twice but now I'd gotten smarter. If Reggie knocked on the door, don't open it!

As expected, I was home within two minutes and was laying face down on my bed when the house phone rang. Knowing better than to pick it up, I let it go to voicemail and soon I could hear Reggie's voice echoing throughout the house.

There was an audible sigh. "Come on, Melissa," he sounded tired. Seemed like he wouldn't be making a surprise visit to my front door today. I had to suppress a smile, "How many times are we going to do this?"

    "Until you give up, Old Man," I muttered to myself.

    "You know you'll have to come to the office first thing in the morning," he continued. "And don't make me pull you out of your first hour otherwise I'm putting you on lunch duty again."

I groaned even has he hung up the phone. Gah, I hated lunch duty. The kids all stared at you as you picked up the trash left behind and I didn't know about other high schools but the students in my school had a nasty habit of making things hard for others. Most often they would make ten times the amount of mess than normal if there was a student assigned to lunch duty. At least Reggie gave me an option, I guess I was going to go to the office first thing in the morning to receive the normal punishment--detention. I had racked up so many detention hours in the last four years that my guidance counselor, Mrs. Kamthen, told me graduation might be highly unlikely unless I did something about them now. At the time I had shrugged and paid no attention but I was thinking maybe I should start worrying about it, it was March after all. Only three more months before graduation.... Yeah, I'd definitely check into that tomorrow morning. I wasn't worried about not graduating, despite the detention hours, because I was actually quite a good student. Of course, math was the only class I'd ever really struggled with and even then I always achieved an average score.

My impeccable academic record notwithstanding, adults usually type-casted me as the troublemaker or underachiever because I rarely participated in class or even showed up to class at all. I'd always been good at learning, I'd just never been one to follow the rules, much to my parents continued frustration. Of course, I'm sure my sense of style was also the reason people assumed I was a nuisance; on any give day I could be seen with jeans and a plain t-shirt. Not the tight, skinny jeans that were fashionable nowadays but the comfortably lose jeans, I mean who wanted to actually wear skinny jeans that constricted movements? Every once in awhile I would make myself fancy by wearing a sweater cardigan or flannel button up but only if it was cold. I just had no time for nice cloth, I would rather be comfortable. That was probably the reason I didn't have many female friends; well that, and the fact that I thought girls were whiny. Myself, notwithstanding of course,

Resigning myself to my fate, I got up from the bed to erase the message off the voicemail, confident that that'd be the only evidence of my rebellion. Reggie knew better than to call my parents, it never mattered, to be honest. He used to call them every time I left unexcused but he learned pretty quick that ratting me out to the 'rents didn't make much of a difference.

He also learned pretty quickly that sending me to the guidance counselor was also of no use because I didn't exactly fit the profile of a troubled kid. My parents loved me and never abused me and I loved them just as much. My parents and I had a great relationship as long as we weren't discussing my life as a student--which almost never came up. I had no lingering emotional turmoil or horrifically traumatizing events in my past. I also didn't have a problem with authority and always managed to be respectful with adults--not so much in my head but that wasn't really the point, was it?

No, Mrs. Kamthen couldn't categorize me into any of those neat little boxes that most students fit into, I just...didn't have a lot of ambition. I lacked direction, she said. I needed a challenge...I guess I didn't disagree with her totally, in fact, I really thought she had something with that theory. I just didn't care...

My parents came home a few hours later. They were conservationist so they drove together to conserve on natural resources, despite them both owning cars. They used to take the bus until my mom got robbed once while riding the bus. It scared her enough that my father agreed to start taking the car to work.

It was comical how routine both my parents were. I was reading in my bedroom when they both came home and without closing my eyes, I could perfectly trace their movements. My mother would walk in first and plop her keys in the key dish which preceded my father's keys only by a mere second. My father would take my mother's coat and hang it in the closet while my mother walked to their bedroom to change. My father would check the voicemails and turn on the TV to channel 5 to watch the evening news. Any second now my mother would knock...

     "Honey, what do you want for dinner," right on time, I thought. I closed my book and headed out the living room.

    "I'unno, Mom," I sat next to my father on our dark brown couch. "Daddy-O, what do you want for dinner?" When it came to food, I was never picky but my father was. My mother had been raised on a farm with eight other children and often had to eat whatever my grandparents were able to provide. I had gotten my taste buds from her, that much I was sure of. Other than that, I was completely my father.

I'd inherited his dark brown, almost black, hair which was sadly stick straight. I would have loved to have my mother's blonde curls but I hadn't been so blessed. As it was, I kept my hair short in a pixie-cut. No muss, no fuss for me.  My father and I shared the same hazel eyes and straight sharp noses. Even my smile was like my father's, it quirked to one side when we smiled and showed barely any teeth. I never wore make-up and much preferred my tomboyish style of a natural face. I felt bad for my mother, sometimes I wished I could be more girly for her but sadly, that would have been my sister.

I glanced over at the picture that sat on the mantle of our fireplace which was surrounded by two angel figurines. We had been twins. We were thirteen when my sister, Alissa, she got viral meningitis. We hadn't caught it fast enough and she'd died within four days. That was seven years ago but I could still feel her absence in my heart. I think my parents do too. Of course, you never get over something like that but the pain seemed to hurt less and less as the years went by. We still bought her a birthday cake and added the appropriate amount of candles every year on her birthday. Then we'd all make a wish and blew them out at the same time.  She'd been the girly one; long blond wavy curls with almond colored eyes. She preferred pink most but was perfectly happy in purple. She used to be so fascinated with my mother's make up and she'd make me be her model. She'd test different eyes shadows and blushes on me, just to see what fit me better. She used to think she'd be a make-up artist when she grew up. She never liked to be in the lime light, just behind it.

To this day, I'd never had a guy tell me I was pretty but my sister insisted that I was pretty with a good coloring. Whatever the hell that meant... At thirteen she knew what she'd wanted in life and me, well, even at eighteen I had no idea. I never really thought about it and even with my impending graduation, I still hadn't made a plan of what to do afterwards. I sighed audibly which caught my father's attention.

    "What's up, Mel," he nudged me with his shoulder.

    "Just thinking," I finally looked away from Alissa's photo and back to my father. His face had grown old. I think losing a child aged a person more than they actually were. Even my mother was prematurely gray despite only being 48. My father's face seemed to get these haggard lines around his  mouth when he smiled. As if his body didn't want him to smile any more. My mother had similar lining around her eyes.

    "About what," he asked.

    "Hmm, nothing in particular," I shrugged. "I'm going to go see if Mom needs help in the kitchen."

    "Okay, Baby," he said and went back to watching the news.

My mom was busy cooking ground beef in a skillet in the kitchen. She had on her Hawaiian-esque apron and she was humming to a song in her head. "Whatcha humming?"

    "Patsy Cline," she answered and started singing the lyrics. The song was "She's Got You" which always seemed depressing as hell to me but it was one of her favorites. I asked her once why she liked that song and all she said was, "First loves are always the most powerful."

Never having had a first love myself, I just had to take her word for it. I'd never even had a boyfriend. I didn't really know what I was missing and love seemed to finite to me. It didn't seem to really be worth my time but granted, most of my friends were of the male variety and none of them had really caught my eye as boyfriend material. Honestly, I preferred it that way.

    "So what's for dinner," I asked, taking a seat at the table.

    " I thought we could have tacos today," she answered before turning off the stove.

    "Ahh," I said noncommittally. I watched as she added the taco seasoning and pulled out the other ingredients; tomatoes, lettuce, sour cream, etc. Soon dinner was done and we were sitting at the table holdings hands.

My parents had become rather religious after Alissa's death but me, I tended to believe she was happy and leave it at that. I tried the whole church thing and it just didn't suit me. My parents never pushed me and always made sure I knew the church invitation was always open but I respectfully declined. However, that didn't stop me from hanging my head with my parents and praying before dinner every night. If it made my parents feel more at peace then I would do what I could to help them.

After dinner was done, I helped my mother load the dishwasher before disappearing to my room under the pretense of doing homework. Instead, I opened my book again and went back to reading. My current book was about world cultures and their differences. Michael, one of my closest friends, had bought me the book for Christmas. It was actually pretty fascinating how different the world was considering we'd all started as part of one continent named Pangea. Somehow, after a bazillion years, the parts of the world evolved drastically which allowed for the different races. I was currently reading about the cultures of Asia and it was interesting enough for me to put my homework on hold. But before I could stop myself I was falling asleep...

I very rarely dreamed of Alissa but when I did, the dreams were always intense. This time was no different. Sometimes Alissa would appear in my dreams as the thirteen year old I remembered, all bright smiles and laughing eyes. But then there were times like this where she appeared as how I imagined she would have looked had she lived. She was breathtakingly beautiful; blond curls and brown eyes in a cream colored face with my mother's full lips and pointed chin that somehow made her look soft rather than stern. Today she was wearing a long black skirt with a pastel purple cable knit cardigan. Refined, like my mother.

She looked sad and my first instinct was to make her smile.

     "Hey, Sis!" I smiled at her, "Chin up!"

It was a pretty weak attempt but she smiled for me anyway.

    "I keep checking up on you but somehow you never change," she didn't say it in a mean or hurtful but rather she looked at me in a sad pitying way. I somehow felt naked; not in the physical sense but like I was vulnerable. "You should be different by now," she said and reached out for my hand.

    "What do you mean," I looked at myself. Of course, even in my dreams, I wasn't nearly as elegant as she was. I was wearing jeans and one of my better shirts, at least it was all black but it was also one I'd originally bought from the men's section...

    "I mean your light, it's brown. It's always been brown," she said and looked at me. Or rather not at me, but around me. I looked behind me thinking maybe there was something there but we were just standing in our living room and it looked normal.

    "I'm...sorry," I said questioningly.

    "I would expect you to glow or at least change, maybe a green or blue, but it's always brown...just brown...brown, brown, brown," she was mumbling by now and waving her hands around my head. I took a step back, this was just too weird. She stopped muttering and looked back at me, "You don't understand what I'm saying, do you?" She asked me with a small smile.

    "Umm, honestly, not in the slightest," I told her. Did she mean the couch? I mean the couch was brown, sure. This had to be the strangest dream I'd ever had of her.

    "It's ok," she said and pulled me into a hug which I returned, I mean how many times do you get to hug your dead loved ones. Dream or not, real or fake, I wasn't passing up this opportunity. "You'll understand soon enough, I'll make sure of it."

    "Liss, what're you--" I started to ask but she interrupted me.

    "I'll be back," she pulled away from me and kissed my forehead like she used to when we were kids. "Be ready!"

    "Be ready for what?" I shouted at her fleeting image. Just as I was about to run after her I fell into the black nothingness of normal sleep. Little did I know that I'd be seeing her again and things would only get weirder...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 After posting this, I decided to make a slight alteration: 

Alissa was originally Melissa's older sister by two years. I've decided for the sake of the story line to make Alissa, Melissa's twin sister instead...

Nae Chingu (My Friends) Chapter Six

Nae Chingu (My Friends) 

Chapter Six

I wasn’t sure how it happened. Or rather, when it happened, I just knew that three years ago my life changed dramatically and even after all this time, I still didn’t know what to do about it…

Three Years Earlier…

I didn’t notice her until her first attempt at getting the crowd’s attention. I stopped Ji Soo mid sentence and just watched.

    “Sheel-lay-ha—“she stuttered.

    “Who is she?” Ji Soo asked me once as he saw her.

     “I don’t know,” I answered but didn’t listen to what he said after that. She stood there attempting to recite whatever it was on the paper she was holding but it was obvious that she was embarrassed by the way her knees kept buckling. She was dressed in the SFLHS standard uniform and her short hair was pulled up into a small ponytail. I was surprised she could even get it into a ponytail, it was so short. She was foreign, that much was apparent just by the color of her skin. No one native to Korea was that tan but oddly enough, it went well with the tan color of our uniforms.

After a few more moments of trying to get people’s attention she made a sudden outburst. It sounded like she had been trying to say shilahamnida but what came out was quite possibly the most broken Korean I had ever heard. I couldn’t contain my chuckle but the humor of the situation quickly faded when I saw just how frustrated she truly was. Her face looked angry but her eyes were shiny as if she was holding back tears. While everyone else laughed at her and pointed, I took pity on her and walked towards her.

    “Jong Hwa—“ Ji Soo said from behind me but I didn’t stop.

That was the first time I met Lily and from that moment on, she was forever imprinted in my memory.

***

Last week at the convenient store...

    “Thank you Lily,” Mae Ri said to Lily sweetly. “I’ll just go where you go so you decide where we’re going.”

Mae Ri was my friend but sometimes she was too much. I rolled my eyes and looked at Lily expecting to see a smile on her face but instead I saw terror. Her eyes were wide and she stopped mid-chew on her ramyeon noodles. Her eyes met mine for a split second before she smiled and teased Mae Ri but the moment hadn’t been lost on me. Mae Ri and Ji Sook bickered back in forth before being interrupted by Lily again.

 Like usual we were sitting at one of the tables at the convenient store and discussing what we wanted to do with our life. Our senior year had arrived and now, more than ever, we needed to solidify our plans for the future. College exams were coming up and soon we would be either picking colleges or taking national exams. I knew I wanted to follow my mom into education and was already studying hard for the national exam that I would be required to take in a few months. Due to my mother’s connections, I already knew I was going to Seoul National University for Education. She insisted I become a college professor because they made more money but after two years of debating the logistics, I won the argument and she gave in to me becoming an elementary school teacher. I liked being with children and wanted to set them up for success with a good education while they were young. I also told her I would go to graduate school for higher education so I guess I hadn’t really won as I had actually bought an extension. I had yet to tell the others about my plans, in fact I had yet to tell everyone a lot of things, I thought to myself.

    “It’s easy then, we’ll all just go to Seoul University,” Ji Soo piped in and my mind came back to the conversation.

He said it so nonchalantly that I had to look at his face to see if he was joking. He wasn’t. I swatted the brim of his black fedora and sent it flying onto the table.

For the rest of our conversation the smile Lily wore never reached her eyes and it wasn’t long before she was standing up to make her goodbyes. I had known Lily long enough to know something was up and if she wasn’t telling us then it was something serious.

    “I’ll come with you,” I said quickly and got up. I swung my backpack around and nodded my goodbyes to the other two before leaving the store before she could protest. What was I going to say to her?

It was another minute or so before she finally walked out. “You didn’t have to take me home, I’m taking the bus anyway,” she said while looking straight ahead.

She seemed out of sorts which was odd because this wasn’t the first time I had walked her home in the last three years. She had gotten lost in Seoul one time; on her way to school she had taken the wrong bus and had ended up in one of the southern districts of Seoul not anywhere near SFLHS. I skipped my first few classes to go get her. She was so apologetic back then, it was cute. She had changed so much in the three short years she’d been here.

    “What’s going on?” I asked her while we walked to the bus stop.

There was a short silence before she answered me, “There’s nothing wrong.”

I would be patient. However, my suspicions were confirmed when her eyes did their little flitting thing—whenever she was unsure of something her eyes would flit from one thing to another. It was her telltale sign that she was worried.

    “Lily, something is wrong, what is it?” I started to get worried because she was being almost too casual. I nudged her with my arm and kept my voice low. “I saw your face when we were talking about college, are you not going to apply?” Maybe it was as simple as she wasn’t going to college although she’d never given any indication she didn’t want too. She was silent for another moment before she finally spilled the beans.

Despite her lack of enunciation, I understood her next words. In a rush she discussed her father’s plans to possibly move her again and I was glad my hands were in my pockets so she couldn’t see my fingers flex and unflex into fists. I knew how much it had hurt Lily to move from Germany even though I was incredibly happy that her father had done so. She was an amazing person and someone I was glad to call my friend. My life would have been so different without her and truth be told—I shook my head. There was no point in even going down that line of thinking, I told myself. My throat was dry but I spoke calmly.

     “Why can’t you stay? Aren’t you considered an adult in America,” I asked. One of the few things that bothered me about Lily was her pessimistic attitude, especially when it involved her family From the sound of it, her father had controlled the family for many years until Lily’s mother had finally broken free and moved back to the States. I even remembered there being a time when Lily had waited to for her mother to come back for her but she never had. Lily didn’t let any of us know how much it hurt her but we weren’t blind. Mae Ri had taken it upon herself to make Lily feel like she belonged, in fact it was one of the reasons Mae Ri was so obnoxious about involving Lily in everything. I went along with it because I had taken it upon myself to take care of her while she was in Korea.

She was speaking but I only caught the tail end, “—I’m sorry, can we not talk about this right now?”

    “Sure,” I said but I hadn’t given up. I wasn’t entirely sure I could say the same for Lily.

    “Thanks and don’t, you know, tell Mae Ri or Ji Soo,” she asked me but I all I could do was nod.

She turned and went inside but I stood there for a few minutes more. I realized that we had gotten comfortable both Lily and I. For the first year or so, Lily had seemed like she was always holding back no matter how close Mae Ri tried to get to her or me even. She always seemed like she was just out of reach but slowly she finally warmed up and return our affection. I watched her blossom and before I knew it, she was as much a part of the group as Mae Ri, Ji Soo and I had been before she arrived.

As I walked home I thought of ways I could help Lily but I didn't even know where to begin looking for a solution to this problem.

***

Lily never showed up to school on Tuesday. Although she had a pretty decent attendance record, it wasn't uncommon for her to miss some school days so I wasn't too worried. Mae Ri said she'd spoken to her last night and that she sounded fine. This didn't stop Mae Ri from calling Lily repeatedly throughout the day. But by nightfall, I was starting to get worried because it wasn't like Lily to not return phone calls or at the very least send a message. Around eight p.m. I finally broke down and sent her a message of my own asking if she was sick. It was ten p.m. now and I still hadn't received a message. Still, I wasn't going to make a big deal out of it, people who are sick are less likely to respond and there was a good chance she was already sleeping. No matter how logical I tried to be, I still couldn't completely alleviate the feeling that something was seriously wrong and every text message I received from Mae Ri only compounded the issue. I would wait until tomorrow, I was sure she'd be at school with a logical explanation for her absence.

IN the meantime I would keep researching alternatives options that would help her stay. My mother was the most help in that department.

    "Eomeoni*," I called to the kitchen from the desk in the living room. "Do you have to be a citizen of Korea to receive financial support?"

    "Why are you yelling," my mother said from right behind me.

    "Omo*,"I said and rubbed my chest over my heart. "Kkamjjakiya*," my mother was as silent as a mouse which accounted for half the trouble my siblings and I got into when we were children. "Make noise when you walk, will you?"

    "Why," she smiled and patted my head. "this is so much fun."

I tsked at her but playfully and repeated my question. She walked around me and rested a hip on the desk. "Well, I'm not sure. Why do you ask?"

    "It's nothing, I was just curious," I lied but my mother wasn't dumb. I didn't know why I thought I could fool her.

    "My son doesn't ask meaningless questions," she gave me her best mother stare and I caved.

    "It's for Lily," I confessed. "She's going through some stuff right now."

    "Lily? Isn't her father in the military?"

    "Yeah but he's thinking of moving again and she wants to stay here," I shrugged and let my mom figure out the rest. I suppose I should search the Department of Financial Services website for an answer or at the very least call them tomorrow after school.

    "What about an exchange program," my mother suggested.

    "I thought those were only for students who wanted to study abroad," I had never thought about an exchange program, but the idea had possibilities if I could find the right one, maybe?

    "Normally yes, but Korea has a program where we bring students here to study as long as they meet certain requirements," she said while pulling on her earlobe which she only did when she was thinking.

    "What kind of requirements," I asked her and attempted to not get too hopeful.

    "I don't know, you will have to look it up yourself," she said and let go of her earlobe. "The place is called, ah, Educational Exchange or something. My old brain doesn't work like it used too," she waved the air in front of her face as if she was waving away something hazy in front of her.

    "Omaaa*," I added a slight whine to the word. "You aren't old," my mother was stern at times but she always caved to compliments. "You're still pretty."

    "Look at you," she lightly slapped me on the shoulder in admonishment before returning to the kitchen.

As soon as she was gone, I started looking for references to the exchange program she mentioned. It was called the Educational Student Exchange and it specialized in training foreign students who wanted to keep residence in Korea after college graduation. The list of careers that a student was require to get an education in was a fairly small list but I didn't think it would be a problem because Lily had yet to decide what it was that she wanted to do. So maybe she could pick from the list...? I would have to ask.

The more and more I read about the program the more hopeful I got that this would work out, at least, until I read the part about it being for college students only. Just like that, all my hopes were dashed. It would mean that she would still have to return to America to graduate before she could come back. The thought made my chest feel tight. No, there had to be another way.

I was just about to exit the browser when a word caught my attention: high school. I clicked on the link  and it brought me to a new webpage. The Educational Student Exchange offered an elite program for qualifying high school students an opportunity to experience a high school setting first hand before attending college to become a teacher. The only requirement was they had to major in education once they reached college level. It didn't leave any room for compromise and if Lily chose to do this, it would mean she only had one option after high school and whatever career path she had hoped for would cease to be an option.

I printed out the documents for the program anyway but I continued to search for a program that would allow for high school students but my search came up empty even after two more hours of searching. It seemed Lily would only have two options: stay and become a teacher or go back to American for the time being.

Either way, I would support whatever decision she made, I told myself. The tightness in my chest never eased up. I rounded up the papers and put it in a folder so I could give it to her tomorrow.

***

Lily was gone the next day as well. That made two days of unexplained absences. I even broke down and asked my mother to check and see if either her father or Lily herself had maybe called her in sick. By lunch time my mother had no answer for me other than that it was an unexecused absense. I knew better than to tell Mae Ri but of course she had a right to know. I told her the truth and it only made her even more panicky.

    "Do you think she's in the hospital," Mae Ri asked frantically as she tried to call Lily's phone again which was turned off at this point.

    "She could be dead," Ji Soo said nonchalantly and if Mae Ri hadn't hit him, I would have myself. I was on edge as it was not knowing if she was sick or not, I couldn't even bring myself to contemplate if she had gotten into an accident.

    "Ya! It was only a joke," Ji Soo said to Mae Ri after she hit him. "It's not like she just up and left the country," Ji Soo grumbled.

His words struck a cord and suddenly I had a whole new thing to worry about. What if her father had move her already? What if he'd gotten the transfer sooner than Lily had thought and she was already gone?

    "Andwae*," I mumbled mostly to myself.

    "Wae," Mae Ri asked and my two bickering friends became silent.

No, she couldn't already be gone. Her father still had to sell the apartment, they would have to pack, there were logistics to think about. But then again her father worked for the military, the apartment complex they lived in was owned by the U.S. military so they could simply clean it up for the next person's occupation. The government could also have movers come in, pack their stuff up and send it off to their new residence in American without Lily or her father having to lift a finger... I was so lost in thought that I barely even heard Mae Ri's complaints about my silence until she snapped her fingers in my face.

    "Jong Hwa-ya!" She said loudly. "Museun iliya*?"

    "We need to go to Lily's after school," I said quickly.

    "Duh, way ahead of you," Mae Ri said snottily.

    "No, you don't understand," I stopped. Lily didn't want me to tell Mae Ri or Ji Soo about her possible departure and I knew that if I told them and she was still in Korea, she'd be angry. However, if I told them and she wasn't in Korea, at least they'd be prepared to see an empty apartment. "Lily's father was planning on moving her back to America."

    "Mwo!" Mae Ri shouted which caused several people to turn and look at us.

    "Shh, Mae Ri-ya!" I said. She could be so loud at times.

    "Shh? SHH?" Not only had her voice continued to raise but now she was standing looking down at me like I was a small child. "How long did you know about this? How could you have kept this from me? How could she have kept this from me?"

Mae Ri was close to tears, she'd always been emotional but in this instance I couldn't blame her for being upset. She picked up her phone once more on the small chance Lily had suddenly turned her phone back on and would answer it even though she hadn't replied to any calls or texts for almost two days. It was looking more and more like she was gone.

The thought made it hard to breathe and I felt the sudden need for fresh air. I made some sort of an excuse to Ji Soo and made my way to the front door that led outside. It wasn't against the rules to go outside but being that it was in the middle of February, there wasn't anyone outside. It was having troubling taking in air and it felt like my ribs had become a vise that was constricted my lungs. I made myself breathe slowly.

It wasn't like me at all to have this kind of reaction but I seemed unable to stop it. After a few minutes I was able to breath normally again and I sat down on the cold steps that lead to the entrance of the school. Once I had myself under control I reminded myself of a few facts. First, Lily would never just up and leave without telling someone, either Mae Ri or myself. Secondly, if she had gone back to America, she would have found a way to communicate with either Mae Ri or I. By phone or email, either way Lily would have let us know what happened. No, she was still in Korea, I was sure of it. I squeezed my eyes shut and found a small ray of peace in that thought.

    "So, what just happened," a voice said from behind me.

I jerked around and saw Ji Soo leaning against the front doors of the school, hands in his pockets as he looked at me. "I'm sorry?"

    "You ran out of the lunch room and you seemed to be having a panic attack," he said evenly and just continued to stare at me. "So, what just happened?"

    "I--" I stuttered. I didn't know how to answer that.

    "We've been friends since we were kids," he said and came to sit next to me on the stoop. "So why don't I tell you what I think just happened."

He was silent and I was about to ask him what he thought when he finally started talking again. "I think you're in love with Lily." he said it so calmly that I almost thought he was joking except he wasn't looking at me. He was staring out, at what I didn't know, but being as anti-confrontational as Ji Soo was, he was avoiding my eyes on purpose which told me he was serious.

    "Why would you think that," I asked finally and pretended to laugh to ease the tension in the air.

    "The way you look at her, for starters," he shrugged. "The fact that any time you hear good news you call her, I'm not the first person you call anymore," He added. "It's the little things you do for her and the way you act around her, the questions you ask her.

    "I don't know what you're talking about," I told him.

    "I believe that," he nodded and looked at me. "I believe that you don't notice the things you do or say but this," he gestured with his elbow towards where I had been standing a few minutes before. "I wasn't sure until this happened. The thought of losing her caused you to have a panic attack; it's kind of a big indicator." he smiled at me as if he pitied me.

    "I don't think--" I stopped. Ji Soo just let me think it through in silence. Did I love Lily? I knew I liked her, I'd liked her since almost the beginning and sure it had grown as the years and gone on but I hadn't even contemplated it turning into love. I suppose that liking someone long enough did turn into loving someone but I would have noticed the transition, wouldn't I? I thought back and nothing stood out in my memory of having actually fallen in love with her but yet here I was. Ji Soo was right, at some point I had started to love her. I loved her enough that the thought of losing her actually made it hard to breath.I couldn't ignore what had just transpired in the last twenty minutes.

My realization must have shown on my face because Ji Soo nodded, "Geurae*." He rubbed his face with his hands and smiled back at me in his usual casual way. "Geureom*," he said and stood up to walk back inside. "Are you coming back to class or just going to stay out here and freeze?"

Now that he mentioned it, it was pretty cold outside and all I had on was the SFLHS uniform to shield against the chill but it offered very little warmth. I stood up and followed him inside.

    "Smile buddy, it'll work out," Ji Soo patted me on the back. "Well, that is if you make it to the end of school."

    "What do you mean," I asked him.

    "I'm not the one who has to share a classroom with Mae Ri," my expression must have been funny because he laughed abruptly. "Ah, forgot about Mae Ri, huh? My poor Mae Ri."

His words caught me off guard, "your poor Mae Ri?"

    "What? Did you think you were the only one with a secret crush?" He winked at me and walked into his classroom

I guess today was the day for revelations, I thought. As I turned back to my classroom, I saw Mae Ri standing outside the door waiting for me with an angry expression.

    "Aish*," I grumbled, how could Ji Soo like a dragon like Mae Ri?

***

I was so anxious to get out of class that it seemed that four hours turned into fourteen. But when the bell rang, both Mae Ri and I were of like minds and we were the first out of the classroom. For once, Ji Soo didn't make us wait for him because he was already standing outside of his classroom when we swung by to pick him up.

    "Kaja*," he said annoyed, as if he had been standing there for awhile. Mae Ri and I exchanged looks and Mae Ri shrugged.

    "Wae geurae?" She asked him.

Ji Soo looked at her and for the first time I could see what he meant about looking at the person you liked and how much it changed a person's face. His annoyed expression vanished and he smiled. "I just want to make sure Lily hasn't run off to some far off land," he said. How did I not notice that he liked Mae Ri before now?

We made our way to the bus stop and although it couldn't have been more than twenty-five minutes, it felt like the longest bus ride of my life. By the time we reached her apartment door, I was more anxious than I was at school. Her apartment was on the ninth floor and we had all been there enough times to not get lost in the twists and turns of the maze-like hallways. There was only one problem, I didn't know the code for the door. I looked at Ji Soo who shrugged indicating he didn't know either.

    "Aish, get out of the way," Mae Ri pushed her way between the two of us and easily entered the code. The door dinged and Mae Ri opened it with ease. The first thing I noticed were the shoes in the entryway and the more we entered the apartment the more reassured I was that they hadn't left yet. Nothing was amiss in the living room or the hallway leading to Lily's bedroom. I had never seen her bedroom but I was following Mae Ri who surely had.

Mae Ri lead us to the second door on the left and burst through the door without knocking, I guess it was a good thing that the first thing we saw was Lily in bed. God forbid had she just gotten out of the shower or something just as embarrassing, not that I would have cared at that exact moment. I was just so relieve she was actually in the bedroom. As soon as we entered, Lily bolted up in bed and stared at us. Her hair was messily pulled back and had loose strands hanging out at weird places. She was in her favorite over-sized sweater, the one I saw her wearing almost every time we hung out at her place and she looked so pretty all disheveled. Mae Ri didn't wait for Lily to say anything before she lunched herself at Lily and almost toppled her off the bed entirely. Lily gave Mae Ri a hug while asking what was going on but instead of answering, Mae Ri started hitting any part of Lily she could.

    "Ya!" Mae Ri shouted at Lily.

    "Ya, Neo!" Lily said and pointed her finger in Mae Ri's face. "I'm older than you are!"

Ji Soo and I looked at each other and it was like the last two days never happened. I was so relieved that my legs felt weak. Lily was ok and despite being gone for two days, she was already bickering with Mae Ri as if nothing happened. Mae Ri disguised her relief with anger, much like she did with all her emotions but it was easy to see how happy she was as well. It was hard to tell who started laughing first but soon both Ji Soo and I were laughing hard.

    "Mwo-ya?" The two girls shouted at us and any pretense we had of trying to contain ourselves vanished and soon the girls joined us.

***

We discussed the option of cooking food only to find out Lily didn't have much food in her cupboard which worried me. Had she eaten the last two days? She looked thinner but I didn't know if that was my imagination or not. Ji Soo offered to order out but Lily quickly turned it down. She didn't like other people spending money on her, despite Ji Soo having plenty of it due to his father being a doctor. Instead, we opted for popcorn which Lily was currently making in the kitchen.

While we all sat and waited for Lily to come back, I pulled the folder of information out of my backpack and set it down on the floor for when she came back. Once she filled us in on what happened the last two days, I would broach the subject of the Educational Student Exchange program and see how she felt about it.

She came back in a few minutes later and placed the popcorn on the table and sat down on the floor next to Mae Ri and across from me. We all stared at her waiting for her explanation.

    "Mwo?" she asked defensively. Did she really not know why we were staring at her?

Per her usual self, Mae Ri jumped right in. "Why haven't you been in school and don't tell me it's because you're sick because you feel fine!" She crossed her arms angrily and waited for an answer.

Lily just gaped at her and seemed to be thinking of a good enough excuse to explain why she hadn't come to school. "Ahh..."

    "Does it have anything to do with you moving," Ji Soo asked and if Lily hadn't pegged me with a glare, I would have punched Ji Soo right then.

    "Don't blame me, you're the one who missed school for two days," I said and immediately regretted it. As a rule, Lily rarely started a fight but if the last three years had taught me anything, it was that she had no problem rising to the occasion. "What was I suppose to tell them?"

    "Are you serious," she asked me in English which only went to show just how angry she was. I sighed, it wasn't like I hadn't expected her to be angry, I told myself.

    "I'm sorry Lily, I wasn't going to tell them but then you were gone today too. What was I suppose to think? I thought your dad and moved you already." I replied back in English. I tried to calm myself but if I had to admit it, I was angry too. I had just as much right to be angry as she did. She tells me one day that she might have to leave and then she disappears for two days?

    "Ya! Look at you two," Ji Soo pointed at the two of us. "Why aren't you speaking in Korean? What aren't you telling us?"

Mae Ri was staying silent for once and I noticed her shaking her head slightly to shut Ji Soo up. I would have been curious if I didn't still have angry-Lily to contend with. She stared for only a moment more before she began to explain the situation to the others. Her voice sounded depressed and something else I didn't want to believe. She sounded resigned, as if her impending move was unavoidable. The anger I had tried to fight back surged back to the forefront.

    "So you're just going to give up, just like that," I asked her forcefully in English. The fact that the other two couldn't speak English wasn't lost on me, I wanted to know just where her mind was without the others interrupting us.

    "I'm not giving up Jong Hwa, I've been through this before," she sounded exasperated. "My dad doesn't listen, what am I suppose to do?"

    "Find another way, make it work," I said. Was it really that hard to try? Lily always just gave in whenever it came to her father, she'd done it countless times over the last three years but did she really have to concede so quickly with this?

    "It's not that easy, Jong Hwa!" She raised her voice, "I don't have money, I don't have a place to stay and by Korean law, I'm not even an adult yet!" Again her voice had become resigned. "Even if I could do all that stuff, Korean law requires I have a guardian."

I was at a complete loss. Is that what she'd be doing the last two days, preparing herself to leave? She'd made it seem like she didn't want to leave but what if she'd never planned to stay? My left hand, which had been laying on the folder of information, curled into a fist. "I guess it's a good thing you aren't Korean then, huh?"

I couldn't sit here any more, I rarely got angry and I was afraid of what might come out of my mouth next. It was quiet but I caught the next words out of Lily's mouth and I felt like I had been sucker punched. She called me a bastard. Ji Soo winced and Mae Ri looked surprised.

    "You can leave now," she said coldly and only added to the ice that had somehow found its way into my chest.

    "Wait, what?" Mae Ri asked questioningly. I was too busy trying to not feel hurt to bother with catching the other two up on the conversation. I knew, logically, that Lily only said that out of her own anger but that fact didn't make it hurt less.

    "Nevermind, let Lily figure it out," I said while grabbing my jacket.

Ji Soo made some sort of an excuse to leave and despite Mae Ri's protests, we were all out the door within a few minutes.

    "Jong Hwa, what--" Mae Ri started to say but Ji Soo jerked her back by her arm and shook his head silently. Luckily for Mae Ri's sake she listened to Ji Soo's warning. We rode the bus to Mae Ri's house in silence. After we dropped off Mae Ri, we caught the next bus to Ji Soo's neighborhood and from there I would walk home. I needed the fresh air, I decided.

Ji Soo spoke for the first time after we reached his front door. "Jong Hwa," he sighed. "I don't know what you two said to each other but just remember she's going through a rough time."

    "You think I don't know that," I asked him.

    "I also know you're going through a rough time," he said quietly. "Just don't hold it against her, you know she'll feel bad tomorrow. It's just how Lily is," he finished.

    "She just gave up, Ji Soo," I finally said.

    "I know," he clapped his hand on my shoulder and stooped down until we were eye to eye. "But between you and Mae Ri, do you really think Lily will be allowed to give up now?"

No, I thought. I could find some solace in that. No, now that everything was out in the open, she'd fight back now. Hopefully she had found the folder I left on the floor for her by now and she'd already be thinking about the possibilities. I'd given her a head start and I could be happy about that. Plus, Ji Soo was right. By tomorrow, Lily would feel terrible about what she'd said and that gave me something to look forward too. She'd have to apologize at some point.

    "Ji Soo," I looked up at him.

    "Eung*?"

    "Will Mae Ri and I be the only people who miss Lily," Ji Soo never really spoke about his feelings, he was an enigma but he'd answer a direct question.

    "I think our group would never be the same again if Lily were gone," he admitted. "I think she'd leave a hole that no one would ever be able to fill."

I left after that. I felt better after talking to Ji Soo and suddenly the walk home was much more refreshing. I wondered what tomorrow would bring...

To Be Continued...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Eomeoni: "Mother"

*Omo: Much like a surprised "Oh!" in English, it can also be an "Oh God" Or "Oh My"

*Kkamjjakiya: "You scared me" or rather just something Korean's say after being surprised.

*Oma: "Mom", it's an informal version of Eomeoni

*Andwae: It can be used as a simple "No" or "I won't", it just depends on the circumstances

*Museun iliya: "What is going on?"

*Geurae: "Yes" or "Sure", it's just an affirmative response

*Geureom: "Then" it's usually said as transition to leaving much like a "Well then"

*Aish: Koreans say this as a sign of frustration or as a curse although it's not the equivalent to the English curse words, more like the word "damn"

*Kaja: "Lets go"

*Eung: A lot like "Geurae", these two words are interchangeable but Eung is more informal