If you are about to have a baby and you--ignorantly--ask for advice, everyone and their mother will say: "Sleep when baby sleeps."
It sounds like common sense and I would automatically reply with "Well, of course!" Maybe you chuckled and maybe you didn't.
Trust me, there is no "of course" about it.
Maybe you take this advice to heart and listen to it when your beautiful bundle of joy arrives or maybe you are like me . . . totally ignorant to what was about to happen to your sleeping habits.
I think I secretly wanted to believe that my bundle would sleep mostly at night and that this piece of advice would somehow just not pertain to me.
I was so very wrong.
This piece of advice was irrelevant during our hospital stay; attempting to stay awake while the baby was sleeping was not only useless but usually met with burning eyes and a desire to crawl under a rock to regain some of the energy lost during childbirth. With well-wishers and family members streaming into our room at all hours of the day, getting quality sleep was difficult. Unless it was after visiting hours and even then, the baby needs to be fed every two or three hours.
Once we were home, getting some sleep was a little bit easier especially since our little bundle could not be breastfed and we had to rely solely upon bottle feedings. This meant that Daddy could step up to the plate while Mama got some sleep. At least, the first week was pretty easy.
Don't worry, I'm getting my point . . .
Eventually Daddy had to go back to work and I was left alone with baby for eight or so hours at a time. Coupled with the fact that it was mutually agreed upon that I would be getting up mostly at night, by myself, because I was not working at the time, it is needless to say I was exhausted. So, when our bundle managed to get to sleep and allowed me to put him down (that is a topic for another blog post), I mean, obviously sleeping was the last thing on my mind. Well, that's a lie, it was usually the first thing on my mind but last thing I wanted to actually do!
I would do all the things required of me, such as going to the bathroom, grabbing something to eat, and taking a few seconds to remember that I had an existence outside of being a permanent couch to the bundle. However, once all these things were handled, there were things such as reading, perusing the internet, and the occasional chore (laundry, dishes, etc.) to entertain my wakeful mind.
It became pretty clear that this would a problem. Our bundle always seemed to instinctively known when he was no longer being held. Although getting him to sleep and resting in the swing, bouncer, etc., was pretty easily accomplished, keeping him asleep was another battle entirely. At first, I couldn't accomplish more than a bathroom break and maybe making a sandwich--note that I said 'make', not 'eat'. This all meant that when the bundle went to bed at night with Daddy, Mama would have "her" time. Usually it began with watching T.V. while pumping, however, eventually it became reading, writing, or playing a game until the wee hours of the morning (one or two in the morning).
By the time I would go to bed, the little bundle would wake up and want to spent the next few hours awake--you know, the time I wanted to actually be sleeping. This was soon exacerbated when we were told our little bundle of grumpy-joy had colic and our nights and days seemed to be getting longer and longer. Sleep for all people involved was hard to come by. Still, I persisted in having me-time and stayed awake longer than I should have until, what we call, "Fateful Monday' happened.
This particular Monday happened during the height of our bundle's colic, I got sick and heavily relied upon Daddy during the night and the subsequent day (Daddy took the day off of work) but we were most definitely tag-teaming our little one because our poor boy wouldn't sleep for more than twenty minutes at a time.
Still with me? Good.
That is the day it finally clicked for me. Suddenly, the me-time took a back burner for a later time when it would not be an impediment to myself and my bundle. Late nights ceased and I finally began sleeping when the baby slept. I realized that night times were not nearly as rough for me and therefore rough for my bundle. I was able to function a little more peacefully with a few hours of sleep.
It was a hard transition for me because prior to pregnancy I would often stay up until three in the morning and do . . . well . . .whatever I was into at the time. However, times had changed I needed to change with them or be in a constant state of irritated exhaustion around my bundle.
Sleep while your bundle is sleeping because 1) if you are a new mother, you'll need it more than you know and 2) it will help make you a more patient mother when you are rested. You'll never get as much sleep as you feel is necessary--especially if your bundle has colic--but you'll find a happy medium after enough time.
Even now I have to remind myself that it won't be like this for long--Darius Rucker, anyone?--and that when this passes, I will regain my me-time and still get enough sleep to surround my bundle with happy and peaceful emotions during the waking hours. Until then, my books will have to collect a few layers of dust and my muse will have to understand that "right now is just not a good time."
From one mother to another . . .
Sleep while the baby sleeps.
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